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previously on Dumbgeons and Dragons.

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It says...

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Ground Newt?

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There's this scream that comes through at one point.

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And it's the three of us?

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And then you look at each other and it's you three screaming,

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Where did Boots go?

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Jail.

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Oh.

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Oh, it's where he's gonna go.

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Who are you?

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We came here and saved you.

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What's with the scary face dude in your notebook?

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He begins to speak or vocalize and moot.

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It's the same sounds that you began to hear.

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Welcome to Dumbgeons and Dragons.

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I'm your Dungeon Master, Russ More.

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He, him.

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Also with me today is Carla Maxted.

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She, her.

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I will be playing Glim.

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Also she, her.

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And Tom Laird.

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That's me.

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He, him.

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And I will be playing a moot who also goes by he, him.

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Amy More's here.

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She, her.

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And I play Sullivan Slate.

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He, him.

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And joining us today, we have a very special guest.

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You know him from places.

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It's Lindsay Bowen.

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Yay.

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Thank you.

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Hi.

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He, him.

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I'll be playing Nanpah Nine.

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Also he, him.

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Oh, it's lovely to have you here today with us, Lindsay.

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We hear you've been studying to be on the show.

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I have listened to every odd-numbered episode.

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I mean, that's the best way to do it.

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Well, I'm confident in saying of the five of us, you know what's going on more than the other.

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Absolutely.

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Except Russ, that's not fair.

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It's just us three dumb-dumb.

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I don't know what's happening.

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I don't know.

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Did you hear him earlier?

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He's like, talk amongst yourselves.

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I haven't written down something very important.

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I have to write down important notes.

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Look, that's for a future game.

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That's not for past game.

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Right, right, right, right.

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That's right.

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Future game being 30 to 40 seconds from now.

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That's correct, yes.

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Yeah.

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Okay.

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Look, we're discovering it all together, okay?

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Whether I write it down or not, doesn't matter.

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Because it's improv.

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Yeah.

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Hey, Russ, great job.

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This was like word for word, what you emailed me last week that they would say.

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Lindsay, you're not supposed to tell them that.

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Improv.

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Good, you got the script then.

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All right.

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Where we do more improv, including some live streamed one-shots, is over on Patreon,

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Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast.

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And when you are a patron, you get in on all those great games that we play.

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But also you get an episode dedicated to you.

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Like today's patron, Andrew Flood.

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Thanks, Andrew.

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Andrew.

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Thank you.

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Thank you so much.

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Thank you, Andrew.

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You can join us at Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast.

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Just ask Lindsay how good it is over there.

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I am a patron and I love it.

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He sounded so forced.

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Yeah.

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Like Russ has a gun to his head right now.

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We all had very threatening looks on our way.

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He's got his family in the back.

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I love it.

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I love it.

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That part was not in the script that he sent me and I just, I can't be off

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book.

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Yeah.

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It was flawless.

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I loved it.

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Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast.

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And now fuck it.

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Let's play.

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It's an early morning in the lovely city of Dharamar and Moot and Sully have gone

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out to go find breakfast for themselves and perhaps for Glim, who stayed behind

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because she has been looking over her Bahamut book.

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It's been a bit since there's been any direction or notice or communication.

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Is anyone else picturing the Bahamut book?

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Just like those books from the library where it was like L and then it was

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like all the things that start with L.

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Are you talking about an encyclopedia?

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No, but they were like picture books.

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Right.

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I was imagining like the teen Bible.

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That's what I'm picturing.

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I mean, sure.

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Also good.

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Kind of a sweet amphigory.

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Yeah.

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Absolutely.

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Sorry.

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I'm going to interrupt this again.

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Where did we land on long rest?

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I said yes.

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I didn't hear you.

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I don't think you did.

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You went out to write some stuff down.

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Yes.

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Oh, is that when he said that?

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That's awfully suspicious.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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You can all long rest.

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I already did it.

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You're having long rest.

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I did it.

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Just in your, in your tavern room.

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Just flipping through the pages, looking at past entries.

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Okay.

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Bahamut.

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Listen, big guy, I could really use, I don't mean to be demanding.

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It's so great of you to have already put all these things in this book,

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but I just kind of need to know like where are we going?

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What's next?

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How?

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I've got the team.

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We're ready to save the world.

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And now I just need just a little bit of direction, please.

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I'm going to, I'm just going to do some sit ups and you can,

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I'll just leave the book here and I'll just check it in a minute.

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Place the book down and begin doing sit ups.

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Evolves into push ups.

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One arm push ups and jumping push ups and like,

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it's incredible.

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Just coming back to her grunting.

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Yeah.

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There's a lot.

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It's like a, it's like a rocky like pump up scene.

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Yeah.

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Just like kind of surreptitiously looking at the book every like 35 seconds.

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Like maybe Bahamut, buddy.

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After about, I don't know, rep a million,

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you hear a loud crash outside the window, which draws your attention.

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You go over and you look out and you see that there's a,

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a wagon that's crashed into a vendor's fruit stand.

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Fruit stand.

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Oranges and bananas and watermelons spilling out into the street.

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It's a bit of a scuffle happening.

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And then you hear the sound of scratching coming from behind you,

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from the book.

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Well, I brush back to the book and try and see it revealed before me.

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You have it open to a clean page.

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And it looks like frantic lettering beginning to appear.

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Not like the cursive, smooth, clean lines of entries past.

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And the words that come into view before you are attack.

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Then it, without lifting whatever imaginary pen, drops down to Celestia.

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And as that finishes, it drops down and gives you one more phrase that says,

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Don't come.

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Before it drags this imaginary pen that's being used somewhere off the page.

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Well, that seems bad.

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That seems bad.

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I should definitely just like finish this set, but then go find Moot and Solly right away after that.

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So I do like a thousand more.

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But it's really fast.

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We cut outside to the fruit stand as Moot walks up.

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Solly-less.

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You see this carriage with two well-dressed figures in like black blazers that fit just a little snug.

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And they're talking to this vendor.

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One of them is a monkey.

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Who's not saying a whole heck of a lot, but looks quite disgruntled.

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And the other one, Lindsay, could you describe who the other character is they see?

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Sure.

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I think it's important to point out that when Russ asked me what kind of characters I'd like to be,

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I wanted to be a little cute steampunk robot and his talking monkey friend.

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And Russ wanted to be men in black.

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So we compromised.

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This is the compromise.

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I'm all about compromise.

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Steampunk monkey in black.

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Got it.

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Yeah.

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So you see a little brass robot in front of you.

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He's got a round head.

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It looks like a golden snitch.

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It's about the size of a volleyball with giant bulging green porthole eyes

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and an even more giant handlebar mustache that sticks off either side twice as wide as his head.

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His body is the size of a yoga ball.

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And the bottom quarter of it is this dense black substance that he kind of rolls around on,

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like an upside down secret deodorant.

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Kind of squeaks sometimes.

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His body is painted like he's wearing a black business suit.

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And he's got Pince Nez sunglasses like Morpheus on and a big black fez,

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like a turn of the century Eastern European warrior or businessman.

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This is a business fez.

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This is not a fun fez.

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He's got a giant crossbow and like what you would think of as a baseball bat and a shield strapped to his back.

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And he's saying to the vendor, stop fucking around.

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We're here for business.

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You ran into my...

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You ran into my...

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I don't even know what this is called.

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Storefront.

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I'm new.

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I'm new to being a vendor.

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This is my first vend.

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What is this around?

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This is squish fruit, isn't it?

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Look at this.

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You're just squishing my good apples is what you're doing, sir.

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This is clearly not an apple.

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This is a squish fruit.

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The monkey, who also is on the smaller side,

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picks up one of the larger melons and like cracks it open and begins just like pouring out the inside.

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Do you have a permit for this squish fruit stall?

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Yeah, I got a permit.

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What are you, some sort of inspector or something?

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Hey, we're with your Bureau of Anomalous Legends, Lores, and Spectacles.

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And this is an anomaly.

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This should not be here because I am here trying not to squish fruit.

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So wait a second.

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You're saying I have to have a permit for me to have fruit that you're not supposed to squish?

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Absolutely.

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Let me check my books.

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Moot, you think you're going to come to blows or something?

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You want to like place a little bit of money on this thing?

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Oh, yeah, sure.

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My money's on the monkey.

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He hasn't done much yet, so it's always the quiet ones you have to watch out for.

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I was also considering the monkey.

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Well, I got it first.

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Wait, what's your guy?

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Oh, I was playing the vendor, but there is a monkey.

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No, I know.

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Also.

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I was just wondering, like, you're just a humanoid?

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Tell us about the vendor.

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What's he like?

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Oh, yeah, the vendor.

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Is he strong?

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If I'm making bets, I need to kind of know who I'm putting my money on.

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Does he feel like going on an adventure?

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Yeah, no, the vendor is human.

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He's on the portly side.

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He eats a lot of squish fruit.

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He's getting high on his own supply, hey?

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That's right.

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Bad news.

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Not recommended.

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A little bit of thinning on top, scruffy, five o'clock shadow kind of feel,

266
00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:19,000
and just a very fruit-stained tunic and...

267
00:12:19,000 --> 00:12:21,000
Make him sound more slovenly.

268
00:12:21,000 --> 00:12:22,000
No.

269
00:12:22,000 --> 00:12:24,000
Sir, no offense, but you are a mess.

270
00:12:24,000 --> 00:12:30,000
How much will it take in, let's call it non-negotiable script, for you to go away forever?

271
00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:31,000
Oh, God.

272
00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:33,000
Okay, I'm going for the robot because he's totally going to kill him.

273
00:12:33,000 --> 00:12:34,000
It's going to make him go away forever.

274
00:12:34,000 --> 00:12:36,000
Yeah, he means business.

275
00:12:36,000 --> 00:12:38,000
Look, these are the permits that I have here.

276
00:12:38,000 --> 00:12:41,000
Will somebody help me figure out who these people are?

277
00:12:41,000 --> 00:12:42,000
Look, let's stop fucking around.

278
00:12:42,000 --> 00:12:43,000
These permits are garbage.

279
00:12:43,000 --> 00:12:45,000
Here, here's some non-negotiable script.

280
00:12:45,000 --> 00:12:47,000
This should pay for everything.

281
00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:48,000
Just go away.

282
00:12:48,000 --> 00:12:50,000
All right, well, yeah, this will pay for a little bit.

283
00:12:50,000 --> 00:12:52,000
You know, I'm just going to turn back off here, all right?

284
00:12:52,000 --> 00:12:54,000
Okay, look, he's just like giving out money.

285
00:12:54,000 --> 00:12:59,000
Excuse me, sir, I was traumatized from looking at what had just occurred to me in front of my eyes.

286
00:12:59,000 --> 00:13:03,000
Do you have some non-descript scripts for me?

287
00:13:03,000 --> 00:13:09,000
He turns his head to you and says, ah, do you know what non-negotiable means?

288
00:13:09,000 --> 00:13:13,000
It means it is open for negotiations.

289
00:13:13,000 --> 00:13:16,000
Well, no, you're so close.

290
00:13:16,000 --> 00:13:18,000
You're so close.

291
00:13:18,000 --> 00:13:19,000
Like how close?

292
00:13:19,000 --> 00:13:21,000
Like close enough that we're just going to let it go?

293
00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:23,000
Like the opposite of that, yeah.

294
00:13:23,000 --> 00:13:24,000
Oh, okay.

295
00:13:24,000 --> 00:13:27,000
It means that you're going to give it to me, no questions asked.

296
00:13:27,000 --> 00:13:29,000
Well, actually, I have questions.

297
00:13:29,000 --> 00:13:33,000
NanPaw9, Bureau of Anomalous, Legends, Lore, and Spectacles.

298
00:13:33,000 --> 00:13:38,000
And he reaches out a little robot hand to shake up because he is smaller than you are.

299
00:13:38,000 --> 00:13:39,000
Smaller than me?

300
00:13:39,000 --> 00:13:42,000
So it's the A-L-L-S, is that right?

301
00:13:42,000 --> 00:13:43,000
That's right.

302
00:13:43,000 --> 00:13:46,000
The Bureau of Anomalous, Legends, Lore, and Spectacles.

303
00:13:46,000 --> 00:13:50,000
They do it all.

304
00:13:50,000 --> 00:13:52,000
Yeah, this monkey gets it.

305
00:13:52,000 --> 00:13:54,000
I'm NanPaw9.

306
00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:56,000
This is my partner, Professor Smart Monkey.

307
00:13:57,000 --> 00:14:00,000
Now, if we're all done fucking around, we have some questions.

308
00:14:00,000 --> 00:14:04,000
Well, sir, respectfully, I am almost never done fucking around.

309
00:14:04,000 --> 00:14:06,000
We rarely have answers to anything.

310
00:14:06,000 --> 00:14:09,000
But we are fairly cooperative people, I suppose.

311
00:14:09,000 --> 00:14:11,000
I'll wait.

312
00:14:11,000 --> 00:14:17,000
When you're ready, names, pronouns, and catchphrases, please.

313
00:14:17,000 --> 00:14:19,000
He pulls out a little pad.

314
00:14:19,000 --> 00:14:22,000
Guys, guys, guys, oh my god, oh my god.

315
00:14:22,000 --> 00:14:23,000
Glim, what's up?

316
00:14:23,000 --> 00:14:24,000
There was writing in the book.

317
00:14:24,000 --> 00:14:25,000
There was writing.

318
00:14:25,000 --> 00:14:26,000
New writing.

319
00:14:26,000 --> 00:14:27,000
What did it say?

320
00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:29,000
Something bad.

321
00:14:29,000 --> 00:14:30,000
Oh.

322
00:14:30,000 --> 00:14:31,000
So maybe we should...

323
00:14:31,000 --> 00:14:32,000
Rip that page out.

324
00:14:32,000 --> 00:14:37,000
No, no, I don't, that seems, that would be like a desecration, I think.

325
00:14:37,000 --> 00:14:39,000
I don't, I definitely don't think I should do that.

326
00:14:39,000 --> 00:14:43,000
But maybe, did you guys do this?

327
00:14:43,000 --> 00:14:45,000
No, we did.

328
00:14:45,000 --> 00:14:48,000
The robot and the monkey did this.

329
00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:49,000
Insulted.

330
00:14:49,000 --> 00:14:51,000
It was the robot and the monkey.

331
00:14:51,000 --> 00:14:52,000
Quiet.

332
00:14:52,000 --> 00:14:53,000
NanPaw9.

333
00:14:53,000 --> 00:14:54,000
Autonome.

334
00:14:54,000 --> 00:14:59,000
I'm geared and designed to replicate all the features of a real gnome grandpa.

335
00:14:59,000 --> 00:15:00,000
Here, have a Werther's.

336
00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:04,000
The little drawer opens where his vest pocket would be, and he pulls out a little caramel

337
00:15:04,000 --> 00:15:05,000
and he gives it to Glim.

338
00:15:05,000 --> 00:15:07,000
Here you go, Sonny.

339
00:15:07,000 --> 00:15:08,000
Thank you.

340
00:15:08,000 --> 00:15:12,000
Oh my goodness, it's so nice to meet you.

341
00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:13,000
You, I like.

342
00:15:13,000 --> 00:15:16,000
You don't even know me, mister.

343
00:15:16,000 --> 00:15:18,000
Exactly, because you haven't answered the questions.

344
00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:20,000
Names, pronouns, catchphrase.

345
00:15:20,000 --> 00:15:21,000
Catchphrase.

346
00:15:21,000 --> 00:15:23,000
Sullivan's Light.

347
00:15:23,000 --> 00:15:26,000
I am, I am pronouns.

348
00:15:26,000 --> 00:15:30,000
I think they're important and catchphrase.

349
00:15:36,000 --> 00:15:38,000
Moot.

350
00:15:38,000 --> 00:15:40,000
I need a minute.

351
00:15:40,000 --> 00:15:41,000
Don't write that down.

352
00:15:41,000 --> 00:15:42,000
That's not mine.

353
00:15:42,000 --> 00:15:43,000
That's good.

354
00:15:43,000 --> 00:15:44,000
Damn it.

355
00:15:44,000 --> 00:15:53,000
Moot, he, him, and whoops, bad magic happened.

356
00:15:53,000 --> 00:15:56,000
Whoops, bad magic happened.

357
00:15:56,000 --> 00:15:58,000
Yeah, that's accurate.

358
00:15:58,000 --> 00:16:01,000
That checks out from what I know too, Moot.

359
00:16:01,000 --> 00:16:02,000
Wait, what do you know?

360
00:16:02,000 --> 00:16:04,000
You know stuff?

361
00:16:04,000 --> 00:16:05,000
Maybe a sh-

362
00:16:05,000 --> 00:16:11,000
The monkey leans down to NanPaw9's ear and covers his hand and whispers something

363
00:16:11,000 --> 00:16:12,000
into his ear.

364
00:16:12,000 --> 00:16:17,000
Does it sound like monkey sounds or does it sound like actual?

365
00:16:17,000 --> 00:16:20,000
That's what I'm wondering.

366
00:16:20,000 --> 00:16:21,000
Bad magic.

367
00:16:21,000 --> 00:16:22,000
I need a minute.

368
00:16:22,000 --> 00:16:24,000
Yeah, this is really them.

369
00:16:24,000 --> 00:16:26,000
What about you, Sunny?

370
00:16:26,000 --> 00:16:28,000
Oh, um, Norixia Sakura.

371
00:16:28,000 --> 00:16:29,000
You can call me Glim.

372
00:16:29,000 --> 00:16:38,000
She, her, and I guess if I had to pick a catchphrase, it would be Bahamut Rules.

373
00:16:38,000 --> 00:16:41,000
I thought for sure it would be heavy heard of this cool dude.

374
00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:44,000
Too long for a catchphrase.

375
00:16:44,000 --> 00:16:45,000
Fair.

376
00:16:45,000 --> 00:16:51,000
The little robot looks up at the monkey and his head squeaks as it shakes.

377
00:16:51,000 --> 00:16:53,000
Yes, this is them.

378
00:16:53,000 --> 00:16:56,000
Wait a sec, hold on, who sent you?

379
00:16:56,000 --> 00:16:59,000
We were sent here by the Bureau of Anomalous Legends, Lords, and Spectacles.

380
00:16:59,000 --> 00:17:01,000
We're here to give you direction.

381
00:17:01,000 --> 00:17:02,000
I don't-

382
00:17:02,000 --> 00:17:04,000
Balls is going to give us direction?

383
00:17:04,000 --> 00:17:05,000
Sure, why not?

384
00:17:05,000 --> 00:17:06,000
It's alls.

385
00:17:06,000 --> 00:17:09,000
Well no, it's a bureau though, it's for sure balls.

386
00:17:09,000 --> 00:17:10,000
Oh, is it?

387
00:17:10,000 --> 00:17:13,000
Oh, I didn't, well, time to make a correction on my notes.

388
00:17:13,000 --> 00:17:14,000
Yeah, I mean that's how a bureau-

389
00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:17,000
Wouldn't be the first time someone scrawled balls in your book.

390
00:17:17,000 --> 00:17:18,000
Is that?

391
00:17:18,000 --> 00:17:19,000
Sully.

392
00:17:19,000 --> 00:17:23,000
So, hold on, so you're here to, yeah, okay, you're here to give us direction,

393
00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:26,000
but like, who sent you to give us direction?

394
00:17:26,000 --> 00:17:29,000
Because, you know, you could be bad.

395
00:17:29,000 --> 00:17:32,000
We're sort of more like freelancers, we don't necessarily take-

396
00:17:32,000 --> 00:17:35,000
We take our directions from the big guy.

397
00:17:35,000 --> 00:17:38,000
Yeah, normally we kind of just look towards Glim in that book.

398
00:17:38,000 --> 00:17:40,000
We're not here to give you orders.

399
00:17:40,000 --> 00:17:43,000
We're just here to give you a sense of direction, a sense of purpose.

400
00:17:43,000 --> 00:17:47,000
Maybe a job, but our organization, the Bureau,

401
00:17:47,000 --> 00:17:51,000
has been seeing some anomalies from time to time.

402
00:17:51,000 --> 00:17:53,000
Things have been happening.

403
00:17:53,000 --> 00:17:54,000
New prophecies appear.

404
00:17:54,000 --> 00:17:55,000
You heard of ProfStat?

405
00:17:55,000 --> 00:17:59,000
ProfStat goes off the charts whenever you guys move to a new town.

406
00:17:59,000 --> 00:18:02,000
There's the intrusion at Butts Hole.

407
00:18:02,000 --> 00:18:04,000
There's the Goblin housing uprising.

408
00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:07,000
There's the little boy, the dog portal.

409
00:18:07,000 --> 00:18:10,000
Monkey leans down and whispers into his ear again.

410
00:18:10,000 --> 00:18:12,000
Absolutely, Professor.

411
00:18:12,000 --> 00:18:15,000
And, of course, the Shadow Wars,

412
00:18:15,000 --> 00:18:19,000
which have just been prophesied to happen, but apparently you caused.

413
00:18:19,000 --> 00:18:21,000
Oh, hold on, what?

414
00:18:21,000 --> 00:18:22,000
I'm sorry, what?

415
00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:23,000
I have not heard of that one yet.

416
00:18:23,000 --> 00:18:24,000
The Shadow Wars.

417
00:18:24,000 --> 00:18:25,000
Monkey nods.

418
00:18:25,000 --> 00:18:27,000
Well, let me give you some advice.

419
00:18:27,000 --> 00:18:30,000
Maybe there's maybe some information about these Shadow Wars,

420
00:18:30,000 --> 00:18:33,000
besides other than the fact that we apparently caused them?

421
00:18:33,000 --> 00:18:35,000
Also, I want to see proof.

422
00:18:35,000 --> 00:18:36,000
It's a little sketchy.

423
00:18:36,000 --> 00:18:37,000
It's just a prophecy right now.

424
00:18:37,000 --> 00:18:40,000
But when you're about to start an epic adventure

425
00:18:40,000 --> 00:18:43,000
and people are counting on it,

426
00:18:43,000 --> 00:18:47,000
it's a good idea not to start with taxation and trade policy.

427
00:18:47,000 --> 00:18:49,000
And if you do that,

428
00:18:49,000 --> 00:18:52,000
it's a good idea not to kill the prince and raise him as a zombie.

429
00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:56,000
Well, I mean, quiet the fuck down for one day, okay?

430
00:18:56,000 --> 00:18:57,000
We're in the street.

431
00:18:57,000 --> 00:18:59,000
We should probably just get out of the street.

432
00:18:59,000 --> 00:19:02,000
We should probably, like, get out of the street.

433
00:19:02,000 --> 00:19:03,000
What are you looking at?

434
00:19:03,000 --> 00:19:04,000
Yes, what are you looking at?

435
00:19:04,000 --> 00:19:06,000
Stop fucking around, passerby.

436
00:19:06,000 --> 00:19:07,000
I came for some fruit.

437
00:19:07,000 --> 00:19:08,000
No, it's okay.

438
00:19:08,000 --> 00:19:09,000
It's all over the ground.

439
00:19:09,000 --> 00:19:11,000
Just grab one and go.

440
00:19:11,000 --> 00:19:13,000
Don't grab my fruit.

441
00:19:13,000 --> 00:19:14,000
Maybe there's somewhere else we can go

442
00:19:14,000 --> 00:19:17,000
that's not the middle of an accident,

443
00:19:17,000 --> 00:19:20,000
of like a spectacle that's happened in the streets.

444
00:19:20,000 --> 00:19:23,000
You're saying that we've caused Shadow Wars

445
00:19:23,000 --> 00:19:25,000
and then raised a dead prince.

446
00:19:25,000 --> 00:19:27,000
Like, I don't know what you're talking about, man.

447
00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:28,000
Can we go somewhere else?

448
00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:31,000
Also, there's some flies kind of starting and, like, gross.

449
00:19:31,000 --> 00:19:35,000
So maybe let's just go.

450
00:19:35,000 --> 00:19:36,000
Yeah, I agree with Glim.

451
00:19:36,000 --> 00:19:38,000
It's getting yucky over here.

452
00:19:38,000 --> 00:19:39,000
Let's go.

453
00:19:39,000 --> 00:19:41,000
Seems like a regular spectacle to me, but sure.

454
00:19:41,000 --> 00:19:43,000
Lead the way.

455
00:19:43,000 --> 00:19:46,000
We cut across the street to where you're staying.

456
00:19:46,000 --> 00:19:47,000
It's a shady spot, hey?

457
00:19:47,000 --> 00:19:48,000
Shadiest spot.

458
00:19:48,000 --> 00:19:52,000
We didn't want to shill out for any high accommodations.

459
00:19:52,000 --> 00:19:54,000
You were being put up by the queen, right?

460
00:19:54,000 --> 00:19:55,000
I suppose.

461
00:19:55,000 --> 00:19:56,000
She's on a budget.

462
00:19:56,000 --> 00:19:57,000
I get it.

463
00:19:57,000 --> 00:20:00,000
You've got to keep those purse strings tight, obviously.

464
00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:01,000
And you're in the back.

465
00:20:01,000 --> 00:20:05,000
You've been served a round of your favorite beverages

466
00:20:05,000 --> 00:20:07,000
for those that require them.

467
00:20:07,000 --> 00:20:11,000
The monkey's drinking a banana smoothie.

468
00:20:11,000 --> 00:20:13,000
Oh, how?

469
00:20:13,000 --> 00:20:17,000
With whiskey.

470
00:20:17,000 --> 00:20:19,000
I was going to say, how pedestrian.

471
00:20:19,000 --> 00:20:22,000
Oh, the monkey's drinking a banana smoothie.

472
00:20:22,000 --> 00:20:24,000
That obviously wasn't the important thing

473
00:20:24,000 --> 00:20:26,000
you wrote down earlier.

474
00:20:26,000 --> 00:20:28,000
What if it was, though?

475
00:20:28,000 --> 00:20:29,000
Let me see it.

476
00:20:29,000 --> 00:20:30,000
Nope.

477
00:20:30,000 --> 00:20:31,000
Yeah.

478
00:20:31,000 --> 00:20:33,000
It's like one of my dog pees on a fire hydrant,

479
00:20:33,000 --> 00:20:34,000
and I'm like, really?

480
00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:36,000
It's a bit obvious.

481
00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:38,000
Nan Paul looks at the monkey and says,

482
00:20:38,000 --> 00:20:41,000
Professor, you never cease to amaze me.

483
00:20:41,000 --> 00:20:46,000
You're always trying new things.

484
00:20:46,000 --> 00:20:53,000
And he has ordered a boiling tea kettle full of whiskey

485
00:20:53,000 --> 00:20:57,000
and is just inhaling the steam into a little hole

486
00:20:57,000 --> 00:21:00,000
under his big mustache.

487
00:21:00,000 --> 00:21:02,000
Like a reverse tea kettle whistle.

488
00:21:02,000 --> 00:21:04,000
So shadow war?

489
00:21:04,000 --> 00:21:06,000
I mean, that doesn't, I know we've just met,

490
00:21:06,000 --> 00:21:09,000
but that isn't really like our thing.

491
00:21:09,000 --> 00:21:10,000
Sounds ominous.

492
00:21:10,000 --> 00:21:13,000
Yeah, we're more like save the world types,

493
00:21:13,000 --> 00:21:16,000
not cause wars types.

494
00:21:16,000 --> 00:21:18,000
Yeah, is there like a sunshine war?

495
00:21:18,000 --> 00:21:21,000
Because that's something that we could probably start.

496
00:21:21,000 --> 00:21:23,000
The prophecies are vague right now.

497
00:21:23,000 --> 00:21:25,000
They just popped up.

498
00:21:25,000 --> 00:21:29,000
And you didn't say no about the zombie.

499
00:21:29,000 --> 00:21:31,000
Yeah, but we also didn't say yes.

500
00:21:31,000 --> 00:21:32,000
Hold on.

501
00:21:32,000 --> 00:21:34,000
You said this just popped up.

502
00:21:34,000 --> 00:21:35,000
Where does it pop?

503
00:21:35,000 --> 00:21:36,000
Prof stat.

504
00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:38,000
We got a whole team, the boys and girls and prophecies.

505
00:21:38,000 --> 00:21:40,000
Look at these things.

506
00:21:40,000 --> 00:21:42,000
It's kind of seen to the future.

507
00:21:42,000 --> 00:21:44,000
And sometimes we can change things.

508
00:21:44,000 --> 00:21:45,000
Sometimes we can't.

509
00:21:45,000 --> 00:21:47,000
This time we can't.

510
00:21:47,000 --> 00:21:49,000
But maybe we can give you guys some direction

511
00:21:49,000 --> 00:21:53,000
so you stop this wave of destruction across Toriel.

512
00:21:53,000 --> 00:21:54,000
Oh, God.

513
00:21:54,000 --> 00:21:57,000
Okay, Glim, didn't you just say that there was something bad

514
00:21:57,000 --> 00:21:58,000
in your Bahama book?

515
00:21:58,000 --> 00:22:00,000
Well, yeah, but I mean, to be frank,

516
00:22:00,000 --> 00:22:01,000
I'm sorry, no offense,

517
00:22:01,000 --> 00:22:03,000
but I don't really want to talk about it

518
00:22:03,000 --> 00:22:04,000
in front of these strangers.

519
00:22:04,000 --> 00:22:06,000
Oh, no, I totally get it.

520
00:22:06,000 --> 00:22:08,000
But yeah, it was pretty bad.

521
00:22:08,000 --> 00:22:10,000
What if it's the same thing that's...

522
00:22:10,000 --> 00:22:13,000
Oh, you think they're tied to one another.

523
00:22:13,000 --> 00:22:15,000
Did your book mention devils?

524
00:22:15,000 --> 00:22:16,000
No.

525
00:22:16,000 --> 00:22:18,000
We got a devil problem.

526
00:22:18,000 --> 00:22:19,000
Oh, okay.

527
00:22:19,000 --> 00:22:21,000
Well, maybe it's two separate problems.

528
00:22:21,000 --> 00:22:22,000
Oh, okay.

529
00:22:22,000 --> 00:22:24,000
Yeah, it could just be a coincidence.

530
00:22:24,000 --> 00:22:25,000
Wait, that's not better.

531
00:22:25,000 --> 00:22:26,000
Hold on.

532
00:22:26,000 --> 00:22:29,000
Having two different problems is not better.

533
00:22:29,000 --> 00:22:30,000
If it was the same problem,

534
00:22:30,000 --> 00:22:32,000
it would be just one problem.

535
00:22:32,000 --> 00:22:33,000
You're right.

536
00:22:33,000 --> 00:22:35,000
Well, I was just excited that maybe it was a problem

537
00:22:35,000 --> 00:22:37,000
that had nothing to do with us.

538
00:22:37,000 --> 00:22:39,000
Oh, that would be better.

539
00:22:39,000 --> 00:22:40,000
Yeah, but if it's in her book,

540
00:22:40,000 --> 00:22:42,000
it's probably to do with us.

541
00:22:42,000 --> 00:22:44,000
And if he says we caused this as a problem,

542
00:22:44,000 --> 00:22:47,000
I mean...

543
00:22:47,000 --> 00:22:51,000
Our methods aren't necessarily, like...

544
00:22:51,000 --> 00:22:52,000
You know, it's just...

545
00:22:52,000 --> 00:22:55,000
We're doing our best.

546
00:22:55,000 --> 00:22:56,000
We are.

547
00:22:56,000 --> 00:22:58,000
That's all we do is our best.

548
00:22:58,000 --> 00:23:00,000
Fantastic.

549
00:23:00,000 --> 00:23:02,000
Hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo.

550
00:23:02,000 --> 00:23:05,000
Listen, can we stop fucking around?

551
00:23:05,000 --> 00:23:06,000
We have a mission for you

552
00:23:06,000 --> 00:23:09,000
that could maybe help you clean up your ledger.

553
00:23:09,000 --> 00:23:10,000
Well, I have a quick question.

554
00:23:10,000 --> 00:23:12,000
Is your catchphrase,

555
00:23:12,000 --> 00:23:14,000
stop fucking around?

556
00:23:14,000 --> 00:23:16,000
It wouldn't be if you would.

557
00:23:16,000 --> 00:23:18,000
Oh, let's see what you think.

558
00:23:18,000 --> 00:23:20,000
Okay, fair enough.

559
00:23:20,000 --> 00:23:21,000
Okay, so a mission,

560
00:23:21,000 --> 00:23:25,000
and you're, like, for sure not evil, right?

561
00:23:25,000 --> 00:23:27,000
Yeah, is there a way we can tell you're not evil?

562
00:23:27,000 --> 00:23:28,000
I mean, I got that Werther's,

563
00:23:28,000 --> 00:23:30,000
and that gave me, like, pretty good vibes towards you,

564
00:23:30,000 --> 00:23:33,000
so I'm kind of feeling like you're pretty chill, but...

565
00:23:33,000 --> 00:23:35,000
Well, what would it take for us to prove

566
00:23:35,000 --> 00:23:39,000
that an imposing figure like myself

567
00:23:39,000 --> 00:23:41,000
and the professor aren't evil?

568
00:23:41,000 --> 00:23:43,000
Well, I feel like if you're evil,

569
00:23:43,000 --> 00:23:47,000
legally, you have to tell us that you're evil if we ask, so...

570
00:23:47,000 --> 00:23:48,000
You know, that checks out.

571
00:23:48,000 --> 00:23:51,000
Legally, I have to tell you I'm in balls.

572
00:23:51,000 --> 00:23:53,000
And legally, I have to tell you

573
00:23:53,000 --> 00:23:55,000
that balls is a division

574
00:23:55,000 --> 00:23:59,000
of the League of Interplanar Concerns and Kindness.

575
00:24:01,000 --> 00:24:03,000
I can't even.

576
00:24:04,000 --> 00:24:06,000
Ahem.

577
00:24:06,000 --> 00:24:08,000
Fuck.

578
00:24:09,000 --> 00:24:11,000
And then Monkey lifts his collar.

579
00:24:11,000 --> 00:24:13,000
Who makes these...

580
00:24:13,000 --> 00:24:16,000
Who puts these names together with these acronyms?

581
00:24:16,000 --> 00:24:17,000
I don't know.

582
00:24:17,000 --> 00:24:20,000
I guess it's the boys and girls in the acronym department.

583
00:24:20,000 --> 00:24:21,000
But all I know is,

584
00:24:21,000 --> 00:24:23,000
whenever Licht doesn't know where to go,

585
00:24:23,000 --> 00:24:25,000
the answer is always balls.

586
00:24:25,000 --> 00:24:26,000
Fair enough.

587
00:24:26,000 --> 00:24:28,000
Okay, I just...

588
00:24:28,000 --> 00:24:30,000
I don't think I need any more of an explanation.

589
00:24:30,000 --> 00:24:31,000
The world is weird.

590
00:24:31,000 --> 00:24:33,000
People say that a lot.

591
00:24:35,000 --> 00:24:37,000
Is it just to stop you from throwing more

592
00:24:37,000 --> 00:24:39,000
really random acronyms at us?

593
00:24:39,000 --> 00:24:42,000
The monkey comes over and pulls his shirt,

594
00:24:42,000 --> 00:24:45,000
his lab coat that he has on,

595
00:24:45,000 --> 00:24:47,000
and you can see a tag, and it says,

596
00:24:47,000 --> 00:24:49,000
not evil.

597
00:24:49,000 --> 00:24:51,000
Oh, well, I mean...

598
00:24:51,000 --> 00:24:52,000
We asked for proof.

599
00:24:52,000 --> 00:24:53,000
I did ask for proof.

600
00:24:53,000 --> 00:24:54,000
The writing's right there.

601
00:24:54,000 --> 00:24:55,000
Yeah.

602
00:24:55,000 --> 00:24:58,000
Okay, well, direct us, then.

603
00:24:58,000 --> 00:25:00,000
So I guess, yeah, what's our mission?

604
00:25:00,000 --> 00:25:03,000
Nampaw is flipping through his little notebook

605
00:25:03,000 --> 00:25:04,000
and saying,

606
00:25:04,000 --> 00:25:06,000
acronyms, acronyms,

607
00:25:06,000 --> 00:25:09,000
hold on, acronyms, acronyms.

608
00:25:09,000 --> 00:25:10,000
Ah, mission.

609
00:25:10,000 --> 00:25:15,000
Okay, so we find willing adventurers.

610
00:25:15,000 --> 00:25:20,000
We ask them to do good works that help the world.

611
00:25:20,000 --> 00:25:24,000
We also find weird shit that's happening

612
00:25:24,000 --> 00:25:27,000
and try to stop that from happening.

613
00:25:27,000 --> 00:25:31,000
In this case, we get to kill two birds with one stone,

614
00:25:31,000 --> 00:25:34,000
because you guys are weird shit that's happening,

615
00:25:34,000 --> 00:25:37,000
and we'd rather you work on a good mission.

616
00:25:37,000 --> 00:25:38,000
Well, hold on a second.

617
00:25:38,000 --> 00:25:41,000
Wait, I feel like that's stuff that we already do.

618
00:25:41,000 --> 00:25:43,000
Professor Smart Monkey pulls a stone out of his pocket

619
00:25:43,000 --> 00:25:45,000
and puts it in the center of the table.

620
00:25:45,000 --> 00:25:48,000
I mean, to be fair, you guys do some weird shit, too.

621
00:25:48,000 --> 00:25:49,000
What's with the stone?

622
00:25:49,000 --> 00:25:52,000
This is a metaphor.

623
00:25:52,000 --> 00:25:53,000
Go on.

624
00:25:53,000 --> 00:25:54,000
Okay.

625
00:25:54,000 --> 00:25:56,000
So it's going to turn into something.

626
00:25:57,000 --> 00:25:58,000
No.

627
00:25:58,000 --> 00:26:00,000
It's just a symbol for something else

628
00:26:00,000 --> 00:26:01,000
that we're going to be talking about.

629
00:26:01,000 --> 00:26:05,000
Have you heard of an orb of expanding?

630
00:26:05,000 --> 00:26:06,000
No.

631
00:26:06,000 --> 00:26:07,000
No.

632
00:26:07,000 --> 00:26:10,000
It's a powerful, powerful relic.

633
00:26:10,000 --> 00:26:14,000
It's kind of like me after a buffet.

634
00:26:14,000 --> 00:26:17,000
It's like if you could unbutton the top button

635
00:26:17,000 --> 00:26:20,000
on the universe.

636
00:26:20,000 --> 00:26:21,000
Whoa.

637
00:26:21,000 --> 00:26:24,000
That's right, Professor.

638
00:26:24,000 --> 00:26:30,000
Nanpah nods as the professor just puffs himself up

639
00:26:30,000 --> 00:26:31,000
and puffs himself up,

640
00:26:31,000 --> 00:26:34,000
and this is holding his breath and pulling his arms out wide.

641
00:26:34,000 --> 00:26:35,000
It's like that.

642
00:26:35,000 --> 00:26:40,000
The orb gets bigger and envelops everything around it.

643
00:26:40,000 --> 00:26:41,000
Oh, I get it.

644
00:26:41,000 --> 00:26:43,000
And the orb should be kindness

645
00:26:43,000 --> 00:26:45,000
that we should all be doing

646
00:26:45,000 --> 00:26:47,000
so that we affect other people in a kind way,

647
00:26:47,000 --> 00:26:49,000
and they go and affect other people in a kind way,

648
00:26:49,000 --> 00:26:51,000
and it's like that?

649
00:26:51,000 --> 00:26:52,000
Sure.

650
00:26:52,000 --> 00:26:54,000
But this orb is actually a powerful weapon

651
00:26:54,000 --> 00:26:57,000
that's fallen into the hands of devil cultists.

652
00:26:57,000 --> 00:26:58,000
Okay.

653
00:26:58,000 --> 00:27:00,000
I thought it was literally a metaphor.

654
00:27:00,000 --> 00:27:02,000
Oh, Sally, yours was so nice.

655
00:27:02,000 --> 00:27:03,000
Yeah.

656
00:27:03,000 --> 00:27:04,000
It really took a turn.

657
00:27:04,000 --> 00:27:05,000
Yeah.

658
00:27:05,000 --> 00:27:06,000
Well, okay.

659
00:27:06,000 --> 00:27:07,000
So, dangerous weapon.

660
00:27:07,000 --> 00:27:08,000
Devil cultists.

661
00:27:08,000 --> 00:27:09,000
What does it do again?

662
00:27:09,000 --> 00:27:10,000
It expands.

663
00:27:10,000 --> 00:27:11,000
It expands.

664
00:27:11,000 --> 00:27:13,000
The prophecy's a little vague beyond that.

665
00:27:13,000 --> 00:27:15,000
It's dangerous, and it expands.

666
00:27:15,000 --> 00:27:17,000
And it's an orb.

667
00:27:17,000 --> 00:27:18,000
Oh.

668
00:27:18,000 --> 00:27:21,000
And this cult of devils has it.

669
00:27:21,000 --> 00:27:23,000
A cult that worship devils.

670
00:27:23,000 --> 00:27:24,000
Hmm.

671
00:27:24,000 --> 00:27:26,000
Oh, I guess it's good to make that distinction.

672
00:27:26,000 --> 00:27:27,000
Yes.

673
00:27:27,000 --> 00:27:28,000
Yes.

674
00:27:28,000 --> 00:27:29,000
Well, there may be some devils.

675
00:27:29,000 --> 00:27:30,000
Where there's a cult that worships a thing,

676
00:27:30,000 --> 00:27:31,000
maybe there's some things.

677
00:27:31,000 --> 00:27:35,000
For example, did you notice that squish fruit cultist

678
00:27:35,000 --> 00:27:37,000
that we defeated earlier?

679
00:27:37,000 --> 00:27:40,000
Um, that Venda?

680
00:27:40,000 --> 00:27:42,000
I think that was just a fruit vendor.

681
00:27:42,000 --> 00:27:45,000
Have you tried the squish fruit?

682
00:27:45,000 --> 00:27:46,000
Thank God.

683
00:27:46,000 --> 00:27:49,000
Professor Smart Monkey's face just falls into his hands.

684
00:27:49,000 --> 00:27:53,000
What's the matter with the professor?

685
00:27:53,000 --> 00:27:54,000
It's a squish fruit?

686
00:27:54,000 --> 00:27:56,000
You had it?

687
00:27:56,000 --> 00:28:00,000
He's remembering what happened to his last partner

688
00:28:00,000 --> 00:28:02,000
one day before retirement.

689
00:28:02,000 --> 00:28:05,000
Ate some squish fruit.

690
00:28:05,000 --> 00:28:06,000
Just holds up one.

691
00:28:06,000 --> 00:28:08,000
Turned into an ooze lord.

692
00:28:08,000 --> 00:28:09,000
Oh.

693
00:28:09,000 --> 00:28:11,000
That's a terrible way to go.

694
00:28:11,000 --> 00:28:13,000
Well, I mean your lord, though.

695
00:28:13,000 --> 00:28:14,000
Well.

696
00:28:14,000 --> 00:28:16,000
You see Professor Smart Monkey lift his head

697
00:28:16,000 --> 00:28:19,000
and it's just a single tear rolling down his fur.

698
00:28:19,000 --> 00:28:21,000
Though anyway, do you know about devils?

699
00:28:21,000 --> 00:28:22,000
I, um.

700
00:28:22,000 --> 00:28:24,000
I mean, in passing, sure.

701
00:28:24,000 --> 00:28:25,000
Yeah, the opposite of angels.

702
00:28:25,000 --> 00:28:26,000
Yeah, generally.

703
00:28:26,000 --> 00:28:27,000
They're the opposite of angels.

704
00:28:27,000 --> 00:28:30,000
They're the worst because they're evil

705
00:28:30,000 --> 00:28:32,000
and they have bad politics.

706
00:28:32,000 --> 00:28:34,000
Well, I mean, yeah.

707
00:28:34,000 --> 00:28:37,000
There's a lot of other evil that just wants to eat stuff.

708
00:28:37,000 --> 00:28:38,000
These guys?

709
00:28:38,000 --> 00:28:39,000
Right.

710
00:28:39,000 --> 00:28:40,000
No way.

711
00:28:40,000 --> 00:28:43,000
I guess I should tell you about the fire

712
00:28:43,000 --> 00:28:44,000
and the portals.

713
00:28:44,000 --> 00:28:48,000
But the devils, they always got fire around them.

714
00:28:48,000 --> 00:28:50,000
This orb of expanding

715
00:28:50,000 --> 00:28:53,000
will allow them to summon portals

716
00:28:53,000 --> 00:28:57,000
and push people through into a furnace.

717
00:28:57,000 --> 00:28:58,000
Into hell.

718
00:28:58,000 --> 00:29:00,000
The first layer of hell.

719
00:29:00,000 --> 00:29:03,000
And allow devils to come out the other way.

720
00:29:03,000 --> 00:29:04,000
We don't want that.

721
00:29:04,000 --> 00:29:05,000
That's bad.

722
00:29:05,000 --> 00:29:06,000
Devils are terrible.

723
00:29:06,000 --> 00:29:07,000
Oh, that sounds terrible.

724
00:29:07,000 --> 00:29:08,000
That sounds really bad.

725
00:29:08,000 --> 00:29:11,000
So this isn't an orb, but it's also a portal?

726
00:29:11,000 --> 00:29:13,000
It expands into a portal.

727
00:29:13,000 --> 00:29:16,000
Again, the prophecies are super vague.

728
00:29:16,000 --> 00:29:18,000
That should have a portmanteau.

729
00:29:19,000 --> 00:29:20,000
Portable?

730
00:29:20,000 --> 00:29:22,000
Or-ple?

731
00:29:22,000 --> 00:29:25,000
Professor Smormokey just slaps his forehead.

732
00:29:25,000 --> 00:29:27,000
Looks to...

733
00:29:27,000 --> 00:29:29,000
Let's get some Foley on that, Russ.

734
00:29:31,000 --> 00:29:33,000
I didn't know you'd have to take that again.

735
00:29:33,000 --> 00:29:34,000
I'm sorry. I missed that.

736
00:29:35,000 --> 00:29:36,000
Little, little harder.

737
00:29:36,000 --> 00:29:38,000
Yeah, it wasn't quite great.

738
00:29:38,000 --> 00:29:39,000
It's a little more slappy.

739
00:29:39,000 --> 00:29:41,000
You're going to have to take your glasses off.

740
00:29:41,000 --> 00:29:43,000
Russ will have a concussion by the time we're done.

741
00:29:44,000 --> 00:29:45,000
He also can't remember what happened.

742
00:29:45,000 --> 00:29:46,000
Oh, that was a good one.

743
00:29:46,000 --> 00:29:47,000
That was a good one.

744
00:29:48,000 --> 00:29:49,000
Did it.

745
00:29:50,000 --> 00:29:52,000
I was going to type something and now I can't remember what it was.

746
00:29:52,000 --> 00:29:54,000
Because you hit yourself three times.

747
00:29:54,000 --> 00:29:56,000
I killed it with fire and portals.

748
00:29:57,000 --> 00:29:59,000
Okay, so yeah, portmanteau, portals.

749
00:29:59,000 --> 00:30:01,000
You're shaking and hitting your head.

750
00:30:01,000 --> 00:30:04,000
Okay, so I agree. This does sound bad.

751
00:30:04,000 --> 00:30:06,000
The porbals, is that it?

752
00:30:06,000 --> 00:30:07,000
I think that's it.

753
00:30:07,000 --> 00:30:08,000
I don't know.

754
00:30:08,000 --> 00:30:09,000
It's something like that.

755
00:30:09,000 --> 00:30:10,000
The portable of expanding.

756
00:30:10,000 --> 00:30:12,000
Exactly. So, sounds bad.

757
00:30:12,000 --> 00:30:14,000
First layer of hell sounds bad.

758
00:30:14,000 --> 00:30:15,000
Devils sound bad.

759
00:30:15,000 --> 00:30:18,000
Where do we go to stop them?

760
00:30:18,000 --> 00:30:20,000
I think we're kind of free, so.

761
00:30:20,000 --> 00:30:24,000
Apparently these cultists have a hold up in the mountain range near here.

762
00:30:24,000 --> 00:30:25,000
The Lance Mountains.

763
00:30:25,000 --> 00:30:29,000
And do we know how many there are or?

764
00:30:29,000 --> 00:30:31,000
What they plan on, never mind.

765
00:30:31,000 --> 00:30:33,000
I just figured it out for myself.

766
00:30:33,000 --> 00:30:36,000
They're going to try to infiltrate the government.

767
00:30:36,000 --> 00:30:39,000
Using the devils because of the bad politics.

768
00:30:39,000 --> 00:30:41,000
It's amazing that you mentioned that.

769
00:30:41,000 --> 00:30:46,000
Have you ever met an administrator who loves to be an administrator?

770
00:30:46,000 --> 00:30:49,000
Just is fired up about it.

771
00:30:49,000 --> 00:30:51,000
Just is.

772
00:30:51,000 --> 00:30:57,000
Everything about administration is the end all and be all of their being.

773
00:30:57,000 --> 00:31:00,000
And they make you do those stupid circles.

774
00:31:00,000 --> 00:31:04,000
Those pump up circles before any of the people get there.

775
00:31:04,000 --> 00:31:10,000
And so they're like and they take up 15 minutes of your time and it doesn't really do anything and nobody feels closer to one another.

776
00:31:10,000 --> 00:31:14,000
Devil cultists.

777
00:31:14,000 --> 00:31:16,000
It's all coming together.

778
00:31:16,000 --> 00:31:18,000
We got to stop this.

779
00:31:18,000 --> 00:31:22,000
Will it stop this or is it just going to slow it down?

780
00:31:22,000 --> 00:31:24,000
This is one of those where things aren't really going to change.

781
00:31:24,000 --> 00:31:26,000
It's just not going to get any worse.

782
00:31:26,000 --> 00:31:28,000
It'll at least get the portal in the hands of balls.

783
00:31:28,000 --> 00:31:30,000
That's for sure.

784
00:31:30,000 --> 00:31:31,000
Well.

785
00:31:31,000 --> 00:31:33,000
I did have a question, Nampot.

786
00:31:33,000 --> 00:31:41,000
You mentioned the prince that we had some dealings with and how does he factor into all this?

787
00:31:41,000 --> 00:31:42,000
Well.

788
00:31:42,000 --> 00:31:43,000
Do you know how he's doing?

789
00:31:43,000 --> 00:31:45,000
Is he just hanging out with boobs?

790
00:31:45,000 --> 00:31:56,000
As far as I understand, the prophecies say that in the not so distant future, a great army of the undead will sweep over the land led by the shadow.

791
00:31:56,000 --> 00:31:57,000
No.

792
00:31:57,000 --> 00:31:58,000
Come on.

793
00:31:58,000 --> 00:31:59,000
There's no way.

794
00:31:59,000 --> 00:32:00,000
Hold on.

795
00:32:00,000 --> 00:32:01,000
Have you met the shadow?

796
00:32:11,000 --> 00:32:13,000
Jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle.

797
00:32:13,000 --> 00:32:16,000
Sleigh bells, sleigh bells, sleigh bells.

798
00:32:16,000 --> 00:32:19,000
Reindeer.

799
00:32:19,000 --> 00:32:20,000
Jingle bells.

800
00:32:20,000 --> 00:32:21,000
You already took that one.

801
00:32:21,000 --> 00:32:22,000
Damn it, Tom.

802
00:32:22,000 --> 00:32:23,000
Sorry.

803
00:32:23,000 --> 00:32:25,000
You've heard the beginning of this middle.

804
00:32:25,000 --> 00:32:27,000
What's the theme that we have going on?

805
00:32:27,000 --> 00:32:29,000
Well, it's the holidays, my friends.

806
00:32:29,000 --> 00:32:30,000
The holidays are coming.

807
00:32:30,000 --> 00:32:36,000
I like that you jumped in and told them before they came to the logical conclusion of we don't know what the fuck holidays sound like.

808
00:32:36,000 --> 00:32:43,000
Every time we ask a question, I immediately think that people will pause to think about the question.

809
00:32:43,000 --> 00:32:45,000
Really give it some thought.

810
00:32:45,000 --> 00:32:46,000
Yeah.

811
00:32:46,000 --> 00:32:49,000
And then when they press play, it's like, oh yeah, it was the holidays.

812
00:32:49,000 --> 00:32:50,000
Of course.

813
00:32:50,000 --> 00:32:51,000
You were right.

814
00:32:51,000 --> 00:32:55,000
I required my 45 minutes of quiet contemplation to answer this question.

815
00:32:55,000 --> 00:32:57,000
We have to stop asking questions in the middle.

816
00:32:57,000 --> 00:32:58,000
We really should.

817
00:32:58,000 --> 00:32:59,000
Yeah.

818
00:32:59,000 --> 00:33:01,000
We've got to put the middle closer to the end.

819
00:33:01,000 --> 00:33:02,000
And then it doesn't become the middle.

820
00:33:02,000 --> 00:33:04,000
It becomes the end.

821
00:33:04,000 --> 00:33:05,000
Oh, OK.

822
00:33:05,000 --> 00:33:06,000
It's real philosophical.

823
00:33:06,000 --> 00:33:07,000
I know.

824
00:33:07,000 --> 00:33:08,000
I was like, wait, wait, wait, wait.

825
00:33:08,000 --> 00:33:10,000
I need 45 minutes to think about this now.

826
00:33:10,000 --> 00:33:11,000
I was like, hold on, hold on.

827
00:33:11,000 --> 00:33:16,000
I need 45 minutes to think of a good portmanteau for this.

828
00:33:16,000 --> 00:33:25,000
Well, while you think about your portmanteau, we have something we call Game Time over on Patreon where we have the privilege to play with our patrons.

829
00:33:25,000 --> 00:33:32,000
And this month we are running a holiday themed game, and that is going to be played on December the 18th.

830
00:33:32,000 --> 00:33:36,000
It's a Saturday morning in North American times.

831
00:33:36,000 --> 00:33:38,000
Other time zones.

832
00:33:38,000 --> 00:33:40,000
This is also a time for you.

833
00:33:40,000 --> 00:33:41,000
Also a time.

834
00:33:41,000 --> 00:33:44,000
If you're looking for a specific start time, 8 a.m. Pacific.

835
00:33:44,000 --> 00:33:47,000
So extrapolate that for whatever time zone you're in.

836
00:33:47,000 --> 00:33:48,000
Google, put it in there.

837
00:33:48,000 --> 00:33:51,000
But you can find all the details at Patreon.com slash dumb dragoncast.

838
00:33:51,000 --> 00:33:52,000
Come join us over there.

839
00:33:52,000 --> 00:33:54,000
We still have a few spots left.

840
00:33:54,000 --> 00:33:56,000
We I am running it.

841
00:33:56,000 --> 00:33:59,000
I believe Tom is set to play in it.

842
00:33:59,000 --> 00:34:00,000
I'm on the schedule.

843
00:34:00,000 --> 00:34:02,000
I've thrown it to Amy and Carla.

844
00:34:02,000 --> 00:34:03,000
Now the ball's in their court.

845
00:34:03,000 --> 00:34:04,000
Maybe they'll be there.

846
00:34:04,000 --> 00:34:05,000
Who knows?

847
00:34:05,000 --> 00:34:06,000
I'd love to.

848
00:34:06,000 --> 00:34:07,000
I love the holidays.

849
00:34:07,000 --> 00:34:09,000
Holiday episode.

850
00:34:09,000 --> 00:34:12,000
Maybe maybe our dog will be sleeping through it and we can both join.

851
00:34:12,000 --> 00:34:14,000
One can only hope.

852
00:34:14,000 --> 00:34:15,000
Oh my gosh.

853
00:34:15,000 --> 00:34:16,000
It would be.

854
00:34:16,000 --> 00:34:17,000
It would be a holiday miracle.

855
00:34:17,000 --> 00:34:18,000
Would be.

856
00:34:18,000 --> 00:34:20,000
So Patreon.com slash dumb dragoncast.

857
00:34:20,000 --> 00:34:21,000
We hope to see you for the holidays.

858
00:34:21,000 --> 00:34:24,000
And if not, we run a game time every single month.

859
00:34:24,000 --> 00:34:27,000
So hopefully there's one for you.

860
00:34:27,000 --> 00:34:28,000
They're a lot of fun.

861
00:34:28,000 --> 00:34:30,000
Just ask people in our discord.

862
00:34:30,000 --> 00:34:32,000
Links down in the description.

863
00:34:32,000 --> 00:34:33,000
They talk to you soon.

864
00:34:38,000 --> 00:34:40,000
No, come on.

865
00:34:40,000 --> 00:34:41,000
There's no way.

866
00:34:41,000 --> 00:34:43,000
Have you met the shadow?

867
00:34:43,000 --> 00:34:49,000
It sounds like because his name is Shadow, it seems like he could lead an undead army.

868
00:34:49,000 --> 00:34:54,000
But if you met him, you would know that that just, I mean, he couldn't even lead himself.

869
00:34:54,000 --> 00:34:56,000
He doesn't wear shoes with laces.

870
00:34:56,000 --> 00:35:00,000
Look, the boys and girls in prophecy aren't always our best and brightest.

871
00:35:00,000 --> 00:35:01,000
I'll be honest.

872
00:35:01,000 --> 00:35:02,000
OK.

873
00:35:02,000 --> 00:35:05,000
Well, they might have to do a little more workshopping on that one because I just I don't buy it for a minute.

874
00:35:05,000 --> 00:35:06,000
No.

875
00:35:06,000 --> 00:35:07,000
Yeah, no.

876
00:35:07,000 --> 00:35:10,000
But maybe like a sure shadow war sounds really cool, but it's not.

877
00:35:10,000 --> 00:35:11,000
It's not that.

878
00:35:11,000 --> 00:35:12,000
That's not your guy.

879
00:35:12,000 --> 00:35:15,000
Surely that's just a coincidence and it has nothing to do with him.

880
00:35:15,000 --> 00:35:17,000
There's lots of shadows.

881
00:35:18,000 --> 00:35:20,000
I think you're right, Professor.

882
00:35:20,000 --> 00:35:22,000
These these folks can't save the world.

883
00:35:22,000 --> 00:35:24,000
Oh, we definitely can.

884
00:35:24,000 --> 00:35:25,000
It's kind of in our whole thing.

885
00:35:25,000 --> 00:35:28,000
So, I mean, I'm not rising to that bait.

886
00:35:28,000 --> 00:35:34,000
You seem like you believe in prophecies and I definitely believe in prophecies because there's one that we're going to save the world.

887
00:35:34,000 --> 00:35:40,000
So well, are you going to save the world from the shadow wars?

888
00:35:41,000 --> 00:35:48,000
I mean, again, our prophecies are also a little vague about what exactly you know how prophecies are.

889
00:35:48,000 --> 00:35:50,000
It's like save the world.

890
00:35:50,000 --> 00:35:51,000
It's all like big picture.

891
00:35:51,000 --> 00:35:56,000
It doesn't really get into like the graNularaaaity of how exactly, you know.

892
00:35:56,000 --> 00:35:59,000
So perhaps you've gotten your prophecy in my prognostication.

893
00:35:59,000 --> 00:36:02,000
I guess it's I guess it's possible.

894
00:36:02,000 --> 00:36:06,000
But I mean, the shadow leading an army.

895
00:36:06,000 --> 00:36:07,000
OK.

896
00:36:07,000 --> 00:36:10,000
I mean, just give him some lace up shoes and it'll take keep him busy for a while.

897
00:36:10,000 --> 00:36:12,000
We can take it down from the inside.

898
00:36:12,000 --> 00:36:16,000
Well, look, like I said, it's in the it's in the fairly distant future.

899
00:36:16,000 --> 00:36:18,000
I think that's what I said.

900
00:36:18,000 --> 00:36:20,000
If it's not what I said, it's what I meant.

901
00:36:20,000 --> 00:36:26,000
Ahead of us right now are these devil cultists with the poor bulls.

902
00:36:26,000 --> 00:36:27,000
I agree.

903
00:36:27,000 --> 00:36:31,000
Let's get a let's get a drink and give these guys a chance to chat it through.

904
00:36:31,000 --> 00:36:35,000
There's a lot of non-negotiable script in it for you guys, too.

905
00:36:35,000 --> 00:36:40,000
Also, the warden of Geneva winter kind of on your ass.

906
00:36:40,000 --> 00:36:41,000
We can help with that.

907
00:36:41,000 --> 00:36:44,000
And he and he rolls off squeak, squeak, squeak.

908
00:36:44,000 --> 00:36:47,000
That fucking warden still after me.

909
00:36:52,000 --> 00:36:58,000
I mean, we we we've wrapped that up at some point, right?

910
00:36:58,000 --> 00:37:00,000
I mean, we must have.

911
00:37:00,000 --> 00:37:03,000
Right. I mean, did we?

912
00:37:05,000 --> 00:37:08,000
Hmm. It's just like you go around doing good deeds.

913
00:37:08,000 --> 00:37:12,000
So you sort of sometimes forget about maybe some loose ends that you back,

914
00:37:12,000 --> 00:37:16,000
you know, your back and we come from and you've made up for it.

915
00:37:16,000 --> 00:37:18,000
Right. Like I've grown a lot.

916
00:37:18,000 --> 00:37:22,000
I mean, I would see that except she's a bitch.

917
00:37:22,000 --> 00:37:26,000
I'll say it again.

918
00:37:26,000 --> 00:37:29,000
It's true. It's true.

919
00:37:30,000 --> 00:37:34,000
Got me.

920
00:37:34,000 --> 00:37:38,000
OK. Well, if I can get them to get her off my tail.

921
00:37:38,000 --> 00:37:40,000
I mean, that would that would be good.

922
00:37:40,000 --> 00:37:44,000
I guess that would eliminate a problem that we sort of forgot we had.

923
00:37:44,000 --> 00:37:45,000
So great. Yeah.

924
00:37:45,000 --> 00:37:48,000
Wouldn't that be the worst if I just ended up in jail again?

925
00:37:48,000 --> 00:37:51,000
Oh, God. And they'd be on to the crab claw thing.

926
00:37:51,000 --> 00:37:53,000
Like we couldn't. Oh, yeah.

927
00:37:53,000 --> 00:37:54,000
I can't really go to that well, too.

928
00:37:54,000 --> 00:37:57,000
I can only kiss to so many things. Exactly.

929
00:37:57,000 --> 00:37:59,000
And you're out of practice.

930
00:37:59,000 --> 00:38:01,000
Am I? You're right.

931
00:38:01,000 --> 00:38:03,000
I don't know. You asked me to stop sharing at one point.

932
00:38:03,000 --> 00:38:06,000
So you're right. And I appreciate that you've done so.

933
00:38:06,000 --> 00:38:08,000
No way.

934
00:38:08,000 --> 00:38:10,000
Every time you ask for a pencil.

935
00:38:10,000 --> 00:38:12,000
Every time.

936
00:38:12,000 --> 00:38:17,000
So. Oh, guys.

937
00:38:17,000 --> 00:38:19,000
Oh, my God. The book.

938
00:38:19,000 --> 00:38:24,000
I can't believe I got so distracted by the competing prophecies and the cult

939
00:38:24,000 --> 00:38:29,000
and the writing in the book is really it's bad.

940
00:38:29,000 --> 00:38:31,000
Three. Just three lines.

941
00:38:31,000 --> 00:38:35,000
Attack Celestia and don't come.

942
00:38:35,000 --> 00:38:37,000
And it's so look at it. It's so frantic.

943
00:38:37,000 --> 00:38:43,000
It's something really bad is happening, I guess, in Celestia.

944
00:38:43,000 --> 00:38:45,000
And I guess we should not go.

945
00:38:45,000 --> 00:38:47,000
Who's writing this book?

946
00:38:47,000 --> 00:38:50,000
Well, I mean, I'm at but.

947
00:38:50,000 --> 00:38:53,000
Yeah, I always kind of thought it was the big guy himself.

948
00:38:53,000 --> 00:38:56,000
Yeah, I mean, and look at how nice his handwriting normally is.

949
00:38:56,000 --> 00:38:59,000
This is this is bad.

950
00:38:59,000 --> 00:39:01,000
So hold on. Hold on.

951
00:39:01,000 --> 00:39:03,000
This is just telling us we shouldn't go somewhere.

952
00:39:03,000 --> 00:39:07,000
But I guess we need to know that something bad's happening so we can just worry about it

953
00:39:07,000 --> 00:39:10,000
without having any control over the outcome whatsoever, I guess.

954
00:39:10,000 --> 00:39:11,000
So yes.

955
00:39:11,000 --> 00:39:12,000
That sounds healthy.

956
00:39:12,000 --> 00:39:13,000
What if we're not help?

957
00:39:13,000 --> 00:39:15,000
What if we're not supposed to help with that one?

958
00:39:15,000 --> 00:39:18,000
What if we're supposed to be somewhere else?

959
00:39:18,000 --> 00:39:23,000
So they're like saying, hey, this bad shit happened in here.

960
00:39:23,000 --> 00:39:29,000
You might hear about it, but like you're needed somewhere else.

961
00:39:29,000 --> 00:39:33,000
Well, maybe it's this new prophecy that we're supposed to go for.

962
00:39:33,000 --> 00:39:38,000
Yeah, because wouldn't you be disobeying Bahama if you were all like, huh, don't go.

963
00:39:38,000 --> 00:39:41,000
I'm going to go. Exactly.

964
00:39:41,000 --> 00:39:44,000
I mean, yeah, you know, for once, I have to say it.

965
00:39:44,000 --> 00:39:45,000
Sully's made a very good point.

966
00:39:45,000 --> 00:39:46,000
I agree.

967
00:39:46,000 --> 00:39:49,000
Sully has made an excellent, well-reasoned point.

968
00:39:49,000 --> 00:39:50,000
Thank you.

969
00:39:50,000 --> 00:39:54,000
Which maybe, yeah, there is strange things afoot

970
00:39:54,000 --> 00:39:59,000
and this new prophecy might be the way that we need to go.

971
00:39:59,000 --> 00:40:01,000
Yeah.

972
00:40:01,000 --> 00:40:04,000
So I guess let's go get some devil cultists.

973
00:40:04,000 --> 00:40:06,000
I mean, we're not doing anything else right now.

974
00:40:06,000 --> 00:40:08,000
We're certainly not going to Celestia.

975
00:40:08,000 --> 00:40:10,000
Nope.

976
00:40:10,000 --> 00:40:12,000
Because we can follow simple direction.

977
00:40:12,000 --> 00:40:13,000
Yeah.

978
00:40:13,000 --> 00:40:18,000
Over at the bar, Nampaw is talking to the professor and say, I don't get it.

979
00:40:18,000 --> 00:40:20,000
I hit him with the intrusion at Butthole.

980
00:40:20,000 --> 00:40:23,000
I hit him with the Goblin housing uprising.

981
00:40:23,000 --> 00:40:27,000
I hit him with the little doggy in the portal.

982
00:40:27,000 --> 00:40:29,000
Nothing worked except the warden.

983
00:40:29,000 --> 00:40:34,000
These guys are obsessed with themselves.

984
00:40:34,000 --> 00:40:40,000
Amy is hurt, but Sullivan can't hear this.

985
00:40:40,000 --> 00:40:44,000
Yeah.

986
00:40:44,000 --> 00:40:48,000
We just need them to go through the motions.

987
00:40:48,000 --> 00:40:50,000
But, you know, we need that orb.

988
00:40:50,000 --> 00:40:51,000
Devils.

989
00:40:51,000 --> 00:40:56,000
You know, we got people counting on this.

990
00:40:56,000 --> 00:40:57,000
Ha, balls.

991
00:40:57,000 --> 00:41:00,000
You're so funny, professor.

992
00:41:00,000 --> 00:41:01,000
You're right, professor.

993
00:41:01,000 --> 00:41:03,000
Looks like they're done over there.

994
00:41:03,000 --> 00:41:07,000
And Nampaw squeaks back over.

995
00:41:08,000 --> 00:41:11,000
Have you made a decision the professor wants to know?

996
00:41:11,000 --> 00:41:12,000
Yes.

997
00:41:12,000 --> 00:41:13,000
Yeah.

998
00:41:13,000 --> 00:41:14,000
Yeah.

999
00:41:14,000 --> 00:41:15,000
Excellent.

1000
00:41:15,000 --> 00:41:16,000
Have a Werther's.

1001
00:41:16,000 --> 00:41:21,000
The slot comes open and gives a second Werther's to Glem.

1002
00:41:21,000 --> 00:41:22,000
Oh, thank you.

1003
00:41:22,000 --> 00:41:23,000
Werther's to Sully.

1004
00:41:23,000 --> 00:41:26,000
Werther's to Moot.

1005
00:41:26,000 --> 00:41:29,000
Werther's are for closers, professor.

1006
00:41:29,000 --> 00:41:37,000
And he slams the little drawer shut.

1007
00:41:37,000 --> 00:41:43,000
Later in this episode, if you don't throw shit at him, I'm not convinced you're a real monkey.

1008
00:41:43,000 --> 00:41:44,000
Thank you.

1009
00:41:44,000 --> 00:41:45,000
These are delicious.

1010
00:41:45,000 --> 00:41:46,000
Yeah.

1011
00:41:46,000 --> 00:41:47,000
Okay.

1012
00:41:47,000 --> 00:41:48,000
We're going to do the mission.

1013
00:41:48,000 --> 00:41:50,000
We'll get the ball for balls.

1014
00:41:50,000 --> 00:41:51,000
You're good kids.

1015
00:41:51,000 --> 00:41:54,000
I could tell you were good kids, even if you didn't take the mission.

1016
00:41:54,000 --> 00:41:55,000
You're good kids.

1017
00:41:55,000 --> 00:41:56,000
Really?

1018
00:41:56,000 --> 00:42:01,000
Because you started out with all of our faults about like Butts Hole, the zombie prints.

1019
00:42:01,000 --> 00:42:05,000
I mean, you kind of laid it on real thick that you think were real screw ups.

1020
00:42:05,000 --> 00:42:06,000
Tough love, big guy.

1021
00:42:06,000 --> 00:42:08,000
We're here to give you direction.

1022
00:42:08,000 --> 00:42:12,000
By direction, do you mean you are going to come and help with the whole cult thing?

1023
00:42:12,000 --> 00:42:16,000
Are you guys just going to chill here and we'll bring back the orb or...

1024
00:42:16,000 --> 00:42:17,000
You're right, professor.

1025
00:42:17,000 --> 00:42:19,000
Of course we come.

1026
00:42:19,000 --> 00:42:23,000
This crossbow is not just for other things that a crossbow could be for, besides

1027
00:42:23,000 --> 00:42:25,000
shooting cultists and demons.

1028
00:42:25,000 --> 00:42:26,000
Shish kebabs.

1029
00:42:26,000 --> 00:42:28,000
Always shish kebabs.

1030
00:42:28,000 --> 00:42:29,000
Back scratches.

1031
00:42:29,000 --> 00:42:31,000
It's also for shish kebabs.

1032
00:42:31,000 --> 00:42:32,000
Yeah.

1033
00:42:32,000 --> 00:42:33,000
Lockpicking.

1034
00:42:33,000 --> 00:42:34,000
Shoehorn.

1035
00:42:34,000 --> 00:42:37,000
He pulls out his notebook and starts writing these things up.

1036
00:42:37,000 --> 00:42:38,000
This is actually good stuff.

1037
00:42:38,000 --> 00:42:41,000
Sometimes when there's something really high on a shelf, and I mean really tight

1038
00:42:41,000 --> 00:42:45,000
because I'm pretty tall and you just can't quite reach it and you get something

1039
00:42:45,000 --> 00:42:49,000
long and skinny and you kind of like scoop it towards you, you could use it for that.

1040
00:42:49,000 --> 00:42:51,000
Actually, that's not a problem for me.

1041
00:42:51,000 --> 00:42:52,000
And he crosses that one out.

1042
00:42:52,000 --> 00:42:57,000
Oh, after he writes down the monologue that she gave about getting it.

1043
00:42:57,000 --> 00:42:58,000
Every word.

1044
00:42:58,000 --> 00:42:59,000
Not that one.

1045
00:42:59,000 --> 00:43:00,000
Disagree.

1046
00:43:00,000 --> 00:43:02,000
And it crosses out each letter.

1047
00:43:02,000 --> 00:43:05,000
It's actually, you know, a little slant crosses each time.

1048
00:43:05,000 --> 00:43:08,000
It takes about a minute.

1049
00:43:08,000 --> 00:43:13,000
We transition to some travel.

1050
00:43:13,000 --> 00:43:16,000
Got to make it to a mountain here.

1051
00:43:16,000 --> 00:43:23,000
Settle up at your inn and pack up all your things and head out on the road

1052
00:43:23,000 --> 00:43:26,000
and find yourself in the middle of a forest.

1053
00:43:26,000 --> 00:43:27,000
Do we walk in?

1054
00:43:27,000 --> 00:43:28,000
Well, I guess.

1055
00:43:28,000 --> 00:43:34,000
Do Nampon Nine and Professor Smart Monkey have means of travel or are we walking?

1056
00:43:34,000 --> 00:43:39,000
Well, unfortunately, the cart and horse we came in on have been completely

1057
00:43:40,000 --> 00:43:43,000
corrupted by squish fruit.

1058
00:43:43,000 --> 00:43:47,000
And he pours out a little whiskey out of his out of his tea kettle.

1059
00:43:47,000 --> 00:43:48,000
But that's OK.

1060
00:43:48,000 --> 00:43:51,000
We have all this script and a giant expense account.

1061
00:43:51,000 --> 00:43:52,000
Let's get a let's get a cart.

1062
00:43:52,000 --> 00:43:54,000
The whiskey that's being poured out.

1063
00:43:54,000 --> 00:43:59,000
You see Professor Smart Monkey catching it as it's falling to the ground in his mouth.

1064
00:43:59,000 --> 00:44:00,000
We cut ahead.

1065
00:44:00,000 --> 00:44:02,000
You're in the middle of a forest.

1066
00:44:02,000 --> 00:44:07,000
There are wild animal sounds coming from all around you.

1067
00:44:07,000 --> 00:44:13,000
And ahead of you is a crater before you.

1068
00:44:13,000 --> 00:44:15,000
You could go around it.

1069
00:44:15,000 --> 00:44:17,000
Might add a few hours.

1070
00:44:17,000 --> 00:44:20,000
It's rather large or you could go down through it.

1071
00:44:20,000 --> 00:44:27,000
But inside is a slick, oily tar pit.

1072
00:44:27,000 --> 00:44:29,000
I'm not fucking going in there.

1073
00:44:29,000 --> 00:44:33,000
How deep is this crater to the to the center depth?

1074
00:44:33,000 --> 00:44:35,000
Probably seventy five feet.

1075
00:44:35,000 --> 00:44:38,000
So it bowls out.

1076
00:44:38,000 --> 00:44:42,000
But huge if it's going to take us a couple hours to go around it.

1077
00:44:42,000 --> 00:44:48,000
It's not very deep, but it is very it's got a large circumference.

1078
00:44:48,000 --> 00:44:49,000
Yeah.

1079
00:44:49,000 --> 00:44:52,000
And we think the cultists are in here.

1080
00:44:52,000 --> 00:44:54,000
Now, the cultists are in the mountains.

1081
00:44:54,000 --> 00:45:00,000
This is just a minor inconvenience that I'm sure our heroes will find a way to get us through.

1082
00:45:00,000 --> 00:45:02,000
Not through around.

1083
00:45:02,000 --> 00:45:04,000
Sorry, Mr. Monkey, Professor.

1084
00:45:04,000 --> 00:45:07,000
Thround, thround.

1085
00:45:07,000 --> 00:45:09,000
We're using portmanteaus.

1086
00:45:09,000 --> 00:45:11,000
I've learned from you.

1087
00:45:11,000 --> 00:45:13,000
You can't just portmanteau anything.

1088
00:45:13,000 --> 00:45:14,000
It's got whatever.

1089
00:45:14,000 --> 00:45:16,000
I'm not going through this, you guys.

1090
00:45:16,000 --> 00:45:17,000
Look, it's yuck.

1091
00:45:17,000 --> 00:45:19,000
I kind of think I'm with Sully.

1092
00:45:19,000 --> 00:45:21,000
It is for sure.

1093
00:45:21,000 --> 00:45:22,000
Total yuck.

1094
00:45:22,000 --> 00:45:25,000
And there's no way our cuts going through that horse.

1095
00:45:25,000 --> 00:45:26,000
You want to go through there?

1096
00:45:26,000 --> 00:45:27,000
He says no.

1097
00:45:27,000 --> 00:45:29,000
We're not losing a horse in the muck.

1098
00:45:29,000 --> 00:45:31,000
I refuse to see it.

1099
00:45:31,000 --> 00:45:33,000
Think about it.

1100
00:45:33,000 --> 00:45:34,000
Yeah, it's not happening.

1101
00:45:34,000 --> 00:45:37,000
So I know it's going to delay the whole thing by like some time.

1102
00:45:37,000 --> 00:45:43,000
But honestly, like to be honest, I could have argued about whether or not we should have done this for an extra two hours back at the tavern.

1103
00:45:43,000 --> 00:45:47,000
So is it really adding time onto it?

1104
00:45:47,000 --> 00:45:50,000
I mean, the cultists aren't expecting us at a specific time.

1105
00:45:50,000 --> 00:45:52,000
I mean, I think we can just go around.

1106
00:45:52,000 --> 00:45:54,000
It's a prophecy.

1107
00:45:54,000 --> 00:45:57,000
Yeah, it's not time specific.

1108
00:45:57,000 --> 00:45:59,000
So, yeah, I don't think we should go through this.

1109
00:45:59,000 --> 00:46:04,000
Monkey turns to Nampon 9.

1110
00:46:04,000 --> 00:46:05,000
You could do that.

1111
00:46:05,000 --> 00:46:07,000
You could glide.

1112
00:46:07,000 --> 00:46:10,000
Let's show them what we got, Professor.

1113
00:46:10,000 --> 00:46:13,000
Professor pulls out of his pocket there.

1114
00:46:13,000 --> 00:46:15,000
He's wearing a lab coat, yes?

1115
00:46:15,000 --> 00:46:16,000
Yeah.

1116
00:46:16,000 --> 00:46:17,000
A black lab coat.

1117
00:46:17,000 --> 00:46:19,000
Black lab coat.

1118
00:46:19,000 --> 00:46:20,000
Or like a suit.

1119
00:46:20,000 --> 00:46:22,000
A suit lab coat.

1120
00:46:22,000 --> 00:46:24,000
A lab coat over a suit.

1121
00:46:24,000 --> 00:46:26,000
They're both black.

1122
00:46:26,000 --> 00:46:33,000
He pulls out of his black lab coat a white piece of chalk, and there's no chalk dust that comes out.

1123
00:46:33,000 --> 00:46:40,000
And quickly moves around and draws a huge circle around your group.

1124
00:46:40,000 --> 00:46:43,000
What do you think he's doing?

1125
00:46:43,000 --> 00:46:46,000
And then looks to Nampon 9 and kind of shrugs.

1126
00:46:46,000 --> 00:46:47,000
Okay.

1127
00:46:47,000 --> 00:46:51,000
Everybody hold hands.

1128
00:46:51,000 --> 00:46:52,000
Why?

1129
00:46:52,000 --> 00:46:54,000
Because it builds trust.

1130
00:46:54,000 --> 00:46:55,000
No, because it's the spell.

1131
00:46:55,000 --> 00:46:56,000
We're going to do a spell.

1132
00:46:56,000 --> 00:46:58,000
Oh, magic is happening.

1133
00:46:58,000 --> 00:46:59,000
That monkey's a witch.

1134
00:46:59,000 --> 00:47:04,000
He begins speaking up and closes his eyes and holds the chalk above his head.

1135
00:47:04,000 --> 00:47:07,000
Everybody repeat after the professor.

1136
00:47:19,000 --> 00:47:22,000
And the chalk begins to glow and dust begins to swirl.

1137
00:47:22,000 --> 00:47:26,000
And in a snap, you're on the other side of this huge crater.

1138
00:47:26,000 --> 00:47:27,000
Wow.

1139
00:47:27,000 --> 00:47:28,000
Okay.

1140
00:47:28,000 --> 00:47:29,000
I'm so glad you did that.

1141
00:47:29,000 --> 00:47:30,000
That was very impressive.

1142
00:47:30,000 --> 00:47:31,000
I have to say.

1143
00:47:31,000 --> 00:47:32,000
That was so cool.

1144
00:47:32,000 --> 00:47:33,000
Moot, can you do that?

1145
00:47:33,000 --> 00:47:34,000
Moot, can you do stuff like that?

1146
00:47:34,000 --> 00:47:36,000
I haven't learned that one yet.

1147
00:47:36,000 --> 00:47:40,000
Nampon, can the professor teach me that at some point?

1148
00:47:40,000 --> 00:47:43,000
Well, maybe you don't want him to.

1149
00:47:43,000 --> 00:47:45,000
Are we on the right side?

1150
00:47:45,000 --> 00:47:47,000
Isn't it the same side we started on, professor?

1151
00:47:47,000 --> 00:47:53,000
Professor, you look down and you're in the middle of the same chalk circle.

1152
00:47:53,000 --> 00:47:54,000
All right.

1153
00:47:54,000 --> 00:47:55,000
One more time.

1154
00:47:55,000 --> 00:47:56,000
You got it this time, buddy.

1155
00:47:56,000 --> 00:47:57,000
I believe in you.

1156
00:47:57,000 --> 00:47:58,000
I mean, I think that says more about us.

1157
00:47:58,000 --> 00:48:00,000
We thought we were on the other side already.

1158
00:48:00,000 --> 00:48:01,000
I know.

1159
00:48:01,000 --> 00:48:02,000
I kind of embarrassed myself.

1160
00:48:02,000 --> 00:48:03,000
Well, like magic happened.

1161
00:48:03,000 --> 00:48:04,000
I just assumed it worked well.

1162
00:48:04,000 --> 00:48:05,000
I mean, it was a circle.

1163
00:48:05,000 --> 00:48:07,000
It is a circle.

1164
00:48:07,000 --> 00:48:14,000
He looks down and then puts the chalk back in his pocket and then just starts walking around.

1165
00:48:14,000 --> 00:48:15,000
He's very sensitive.

1166
00:48:15,000 --> 00:48:16,000
Look, that's all.

1167
00:48:16,000 --> 00:48:17,000
We can go around.

1168
00:48:17,000 --> 00:48:18,000
That's not so bad, right?

1169
00:48:18,000 --> 00:48:20,000
Well, I suggested it to begin with.

1170
00:48:20,000 --> 00:48:21,000
I don't know.

1171
00:48:21,000 --> 00:48:22,000
We can go around.

1172
00:48:22,000 --> 00:48:23,000
Hey, struggles with magic?

1173
00:48:23,000 --> 00:48:24,000
Yes.

1174
00:48:24,000 --> 00:48:25,000
Talk to me about it.

1175
00:48:25,000 --> 00:48:26,000
Very accepted.

1176
00:48:26,000 --> 00:48:29,000
No need to get into detail on that one.

1177
00:48:29,000 --> 00:48:31,000
Ask him about his height.

1178
00:48:31,000 --> 00:48:32,000
Oh, boy.

1179
00:48:32,000 --> 00:48:33,000
Here we go again with this.

1180
00:48:33,000 --> 00:48:37,000
You all seem giant to me, but size isn't everything, buddy.

1181
00:48:37,000 --> 00:48:38,000
You'll get taller.

1182
00:48:38,000 --> 00:48:42,000
I don't know if you will.

1183
00:48:42,000 --> 00:48:47,000
We fade out of this scene on sad monkey songs.

1184
00:48:47,000 --> 00:48:51,000
Sad monkey songs?

1185
00:48:51,000 --> 00:48:53,000
I think the walk is nice, Professor.

1186
00:48:53,000 --> 00:48:54,000
Don't worry about it.

1187
00:48:54,000 --> 00:48:58,000
This is great.

1188
00:48:58,000 --> 00:49:08,000
And we transition to the mouth of a large cave at the top of this magnificent mountain

1189
00:49:08,000 --> 00:49:10,000
that was before you.

1190
00:49:10,000 --> 00:49:14,000
Everybody slightly out of breath for how long it took.

1191
00:49:14,000 --> 00:49:16,000
We had a cart with a horse.

1192
00:49:16,000 --> 00:49:17,000
Almost everybody.

1193
00:49:17,000 --> 00:49:19,000
Glim is not out of breath.

1194
00:49:19,000 --> 00:49:21,000
Sully did not walk.

1195
00:49:21,000 --> 00:49:23,000
I mean, Glim is carrying Sully.

1196
00:49:23,000 --> 00:49:29,000
The horse slightly out of breath for carrying everybody except Glim.

1197
00:49:29,000 --> 00:49:31,000
This is a really big cave.

1198
00:49:31,000 --> 00:49:33,000
There's probably a lot of people in there.

1199
00:49:33,000 --> 00:49:36,000
Devils.

1200
00:49:36,000 --> 00:49:38,000
Not cultists that worship devils.

1201
00:49:38,000 --> 00:49:41,000
Maybe devils also, but TBD.

1202
00:49:41,000 --> 00:49:42,000
It's a party.

1203
00:49:42,000 --> 00:49:44,000
So who wants to go first?

1204
00:49:44,000 --> 00:49:45,000
Wait, no.

1205
00:49:45,000 --> 00:49:50,000
I mean, if it's a party, do we just walk in or should we plan first?

1206
00:49:50,000 --> 00:49:51,000
Who am I?

1207
00:49:51,000 --> 00:49:52,000
It's a whole new world.

1208
00:49:52,000 --> 00:49:54,000
Well, I don't know if I'm OK with it.

1209
00:49:54,000 --> 00:50:00,000
Nampaw, what do you know about, if anything, I know prophecies, a little sketchy.

1210
00:50:00,000 --> 00:50:03,000
These cultists, they have the orb.

1211
00:50:03,000 --> 00:50:04,000
We know that.

1212
00:50:04,000 --> 00:50:13,000
Do they have, I don't know, like a lot of other super magic deadly weapons or are they kind of soft and weak?

1213
00:50:13,000 --> 00:50:17,000
Do they like to keep like wizards and like magic people?

1214
00:50:17,000 --> 00:50:26,000
Well, if there's one thing I know about cultists, every cultist, every cultist in the world has one thing in common.

1215
00:50:26,000 --> 00:50:29,000
They kidnap children.

1216
00:50:29,000 --> 00:50:31,000
They wear robes?

1217
00:50:31,000 --> 00:50:32,000
Robes!

1218
00:50:32,000 --> 00:50:33,000
I would here have a Werther's.

1219
00:50:33,000 --> 00:50:36,000
I was going to say robes.

1220
00:50:36,000 --> 00:50:37,000
Robes!

1221
00:50:37,000 --> 00:50:39,000
I have a robe.

1222
00:50:39,000 --> 00:50:42,000
As you're looking, Nampaw looks at the professors.

1223
00:50:42,000 --> 00:50:45,000
Yes, professor, they also have shoes and hair.

1224
00:50:45,000 --> 00:50:47,000
They don't all have hair, though.

1225
00:50:47,000 --> 00:50:49,000
Some of them are probably bald.

1226
00:50:49,000 --> 00:50:52,000
Some have sandals.

1227
00:50:52,000 --> 00:50:56,000
No, some of them are bald down there, too, professor.

1228
00:50:56,000 --> 00:50:58,000
It's a personal preference.

1229
00:50:58,000 --> 00:51:00,000
Anyway, we're off topic.

1230
00:51:00,000 --> 00:51:02,000
Maybe we just like, who's got robes?

1231
00:51:02,000 --> 00:51:03,000
I got a robe.

1232
00:51:03,000 --> 00:51:05,000
Do you have extra robes?

1233
00:51:05,000 --> 00:51:07,000
I brought robes for all of you.

1234
00:51:07,000 --> 00:51:08,000
Oh, okay.

1235
00:51:08,000 --> 00:51:14,000
I was going to say, I do have one extra robe, but it would be like a tank top for you, Glim.

1236
00:51:14,000 --> 00:51:21,000
Kind of under, you know, he pulls his shield out when we're strapped to his little chassis,

1237
00:51:21,000 --> 00:51:28,000
and he pulls out four matching round tiny robes that would fit him and not you.

1238
00:51:28,000 --> 00:51:33,000
Maybe if you took my robe and a few of his robes, sewed them together,

1239
00:51:33,000 --> 00:51:40,000
or we could go in without robes and get some information and not do anything crazy,

1240
00:51:40,000 --> 00:51:45,000
and then come out and let you know that there's four people in there.

1241
00:51:45,000 --> 00:51:48,000
Oh, I thought you were going to say, then come out and then do the crazy thing.

1242
00:51:48,000 --> 00:51:51,000
Well, yeah, but I mean, all together.

1243
00:51:51,000 --> 00:51:57,000
What if we just wait, like, for 20 minutes, see who comes and goes,

1244
00:51:57,000 --> 00:52:00,000
and like, try and get a handle on their whole situation?

1245
00:52:00,000 --> 00:52:05,000
Kidnap them, strip them of their robes, use the robe.

1246
00:52:05,000 --> 00:52:06,000
Oh, or that.

1247
00:52:06,000 --> 00:52:08,000
Yes, good thinking.

1248
00:52:08,000 --> 00:52:09,000
Okay.

1249
00:52:09,000 --> 00:52:16,000
Professor Smart Monkey kind of looks to everybody and turns and starts walking into the cave.

1250
00:52:16,000 --> 00:52:19,000
Does he understand? Common.

1251
00:52:19,000 --> 00:52:20,000
Absolutely.

1252
00:52:20,000 --> 00:52:22,000
Haven't you been listening to a word he said?

1253
00:52:22,000 --> 00:52:23,000
Come on.

1254
00:52:23,000 --> 00:52:24,000
Sorry.

1255
00:52:24,000 --> 00:52:26,000
And Nan Paul wheels in after him.

1256
00:52:26,000 --> 00:52:31,000
I haul my robe on as I'm walking in there.

1257
00:52:31,000 --> 00:52:33,000
And I have the hood down in front of my eyes.

1258
00:52:33,000 --> 00:52:35,000
Does this technically count as spelunking?

1259
00:52:35,000 --> 00:52:36,000
I mean, I think it does.

1260
00:52:36,000 --> 00:52:37,000
We're in a cave.

1261
00:52:37,000 --> 00:52:39,000
I must say, yeah.

1262
00:52:39,000 --> 00:52:42,000
You all follow behind Professor Smart Monkey and Nanpaw9,

1263
00:52:42,000 --> 00:52:47,000
and you are quietly, quietly walking through, I presume?

1264
00:52:47,000 --> 00:52:48,000
Oh, definitely.

1265
00:52:48,000 --> 00:52:49,000
You're right.

1266
00:52:49,000 --> 00:52:50,000
Oh, yeah.

1267
00:52:50,000 --> 00:52:52,000
Nanpaw kind of squeaks.

1268
00:52:55,000 --> 00:53:02,000
Soft footsteps and squeaks echo through this chamber.

1269
00:53:02,000 --> 00:53:08,000
You walk past a few, like, tunnels that lead into open passageways,

1270
00:53:08,000 --> 00:53:14,000
and you don't see a lot of signs of people.

1271
00:53:14,000 --> 00:53:19,000
There's some footsteps in the dirt and dust, but they look a little older.

1272
00:53:19,000 --> 00:53:20,000
Now, are there other signs?

1273
00:53:20,000 --> 00:53:22,000
Bathroom this way.

1274
00:53:22,000 --> 00:53:25,000
Cafeteria.

1275
00:53:25,000 --> 00:53:27,000
Yes.

1276
00:53:27,000 --> 00:53:29,000
Next service, 56 kilometers.

1277
00:53:29,000 --> 00:53:30,000
Check your fuel.

1278
00:53:30,000 --> 00:53:31,000
That's right.

1279
00:53:31,000 --> 00:53:32,000
Yeah, specifically that one.

1280
00:53:32,000 --> 00:53:33,000
You pass.

1281
00:53:33,000 --> 00:53:34,000
Yeah.

1282
00:53:34,000 --> 00:53:35,000
OK.

1283
00:53:35,000 --> 00:53:36,000
And you're following behind Professor Smart Monkey,

1284
00:53:36,000 --> 00:53:39,000
who's, like, scaling the walls as he's going

1285
00:53:39,000 --> 00:53:44,000
and, like, disappearing in, like, just this mist

1286
00:53:44,000 --> 00:53:47,000
and then appearing on another side.

1287
00:53:47,000 --> 00:53:52,000
And you get down to the end of this long tunnel

1288
00:53:52,000 --> 00:53:55,000
and enter into this open chamber,

1289
00:53:55,000 --> 00:54:01,000
and at the center of this chamber is a stalagmite.

1290
00:54:01,000 --> 00:54:06,000
And on the end of this stalagmite is this glowing orb.

1291
00:54:06,000 --> 00:54:08,000
Are you guys a fan of the orb?

1292
00:54:08,000 --> 00:54:11,000
I mean, that seems a lot easier than I thought it was going to be to locate.

1293
00:54:11,000 --> 00:54:14,000
Yeah, we haven't even seen any cultists, and they're, like, not even hiding it.

1294
00:54:14,000 --> 00:54:19,000
So, like, before anything happens, should we just go snatch it?

1295
00:54:19,000 --> 00:54:20,000
I mean, yeah.

1296
00:54:20,000 --> 00:54:21,000
Hold on, hold on.

1297
00:54:21,000 --> 00:54:22,000
Let's move quick.

1298
00:54:22,000 --> 00:54:23,000
Stop fucking around.

1299
00:54:23,000 --> 00:54:24,000
Get the orb.

1300
00:54:24,000 --> 00:54:26,000
I want to check for traps first.

1301
00:54:26,000 --> 00:54:28,000
And Sully checks for traps first.

1302
00:54:28,000 --> 00:54:29,000
OK.

1303
00:54:29,000 --> 00:54:30,000
Investigation.

1304
00:54:30,000 --> 00:54:35,000
Ah, fuck me.

1305
00:54:36,000 --> 00:54:37,000
Eight.

1306
00:54:38,000 --> 00:54:39,000
Yeah, no, it's fine, everybody.

1307
00:54:39,000 --> 00:54:40,000
It's fine.

1308
00:54:40,000 --> 00:54:41,000
Are you sure?

1309
00:54:41,000 --> 00:54:42,000
I'm going to just...

1310
00:54:44,000 --> 00:54:45,000
26.

1311
00:54:45,000 --> 00:54:46,000
Fuck.

1312
00:54:46,000 --> 00:54:47,000
No, wait.

1313
00:54:47,000 --> 00:54:48,000
That's a lie.

1314
00:54:48,000 --> 00:54:49,000
That's a lie.

1315
00:54:49,000 --> 00:54:50,000
My investigation is fake.

1316
00:54:50,000 --> 00:54:51,000
I was adding...

1317
00:54:51,000 --> 00:54:53,000
I athletically look around.

1318
00:54:53,000 --> 00:54:56,000
You're, like, lunging in different directions.

1319
00:54:56,000 --> 00:54:57,000
Little green eyeballs.

1320
00:54:57,000 --> 00:54:58,000
Totally.

1321
00:54:58,000 --> 00:55:00,000
You're parkouring up the wall to check for traps.

1322
00:55:00,000 --> 00:55:01,000
Ah, sorry.

1323
00:55:01,000 --> 00:55:02,000
This is 19.

1324
00:55:02,000 --> 00:55:03,000
Oh, my God.

1325
00:55:03,000 --> 00:55:04,000
Still good.

1326
00:55:04,000 --> 00:55:05,000
It was a good roll.

1327
00:55:05,000 --> 00:55:10,000
It's just like a really good description of the disparity between my rolls and everybody

1328
00:55:10,000 --> 00:55:11,000
else's.

1329
00:55:11,000 --> 00:55:12,000
26.

1330
00:55:12,000 --> 00:55:18,000
OK, so yeah, Sully gives, like, a cursory, like, just, like, from where he's standing.

1331
00:55:18,000 --> 00:55:20,000
And the old thumbs up.

1332
00:55:20,000 --> 00:55:25,000
Glim, you go closer to, presumably, to look around.

1333
00:55:25,000 --> 00:55:27,000
Yeah, and I can see up a lot higher.

1334
00:55:27,000 --> 00:55:28,000
Sure.

1335
00:55:28,000 --> 00:55:31,000
You know, if there's a trap up on a high shelf or something, I can see that.

1336
00:55:31,000 --> 00:55:32,000
So.

1337
00:55:32,000 --> 00:55:37,000
You make more of an effort to find anything, and you don't see any visible traps in this

1338
00:55:37,000 --> 00:55:38,000
room.

1339
00:55:38,000 --> 00:55:39,000
Well, I don't...

1340
00:55:39,000 --> 00:55:40,000
I don't see anything.

1341
00:55:40,000 --> 00:55:41,000
I mean, maybe it's really just...

1342
00:55:41,000 --> 00:55:42,000
That's why I just said that.

1343
00:55:42,000 --> 00:55:46,000
Why did you have to look and then, like, make me feel like my looking wasn't

1344
00:55:46,000 --> 00:55:47,000
good enough?

1345
00:55:47,000 --> 00:55:50,000
It's just that, you see, they have, like, this high shelf up here, and I thought,

1346
00:55:50,000 --> 00:55:51,000
maybe...

1347
00:55:51,000 --> 00:55:54,000
What kind of cave is this?

1348
00:55:54,000 --> 00:55:55,000
They have...

1349
00:55:55,000 --> 00:55:56,000
They do storage up along the top shelf.

1350
00:55:56,000 --> 00:55:57,000
And also, weirdly...

1351
00:55:57,000 --> 00:55:58,000
It's really convenient.

1352
00:55:58,000 --> 00:56:01,000
So it's a lot of storage, but then also there's, like, some sort of decorative

1353
00:56:01,000 --> 00:56:02,000
pottery up there?

1354
00:56:02,000 --> 00:56:03,000
How did they even dust up there, though?

1355
00:56:03,000 --> 00:56:04,000
It's really...

1356
00:56:04,000 --> 00:56:05,000
It's not practical.

1357
00:56:05,000 --> 00:56:06,000
It just would be so...

1358
00:56:06,000 --> 00:56:09,000
It's not practical.

1359
00:56:09,000 --> 00:56:11,000
Well, I'm gonna...

1360
00:56:11,000 --> 00:56:13,000
Can I even reach the orb?

1361
00:56:13,000 --> 00:56:15,000
I can't even reach the orb, can I?

1362
00:56:15,000 --> 00:56:16,000
How high up is it?

1363
00:56:16,000 --> 00:56:17,000
How tall...

1364
00:56:17,000 --> 00:56:18,000
How high is the orb?

1365
00:56:18,000 --> 00:56:19,000
You said it was a stalagmite.

1366
00:56:19,000 --> 00:56:20,000
Well, yeah.

1367
00:56:20,000 --> 00:56:21,000
They could be of many different sizes.

1368
00:56:21,000 --> 00:56:22,000
It could be many different sizes.

1369
00:56:22,000 --> 00:56:23,000
Exactly.

1370
00:56:23,000 --> 00:56:24,000
Let's say it's probably, like, a...

1371
00:56:24,000 --> 00:56:27,000
It's a substantial stalagmite, like, probably four, four and a half feet.

1372
00:56:27,000 --> 00:56:30,000
So, like, you would have to reach for it.

1373
00:56:30,000 --> 00:56:33,000
But Sully could get it.

1374
00:56:33,000 --> 00:56:36,000
My God, look at the size of that stalagmite.

1375
00:56:36,000 --> 00:56:39,000
What hero could summit that?

1376
00:56:39,000 --> 00:56:43,000
Sully goes to grab it, because it just seems like something's...

1377
00:56:43,000 --> 00:56:44,000
Like, it's shiny.

1378
00:56:44,000 --> 00:56:45,000
Mm-hmm.

1379
00:56:45,000 --> 00:56:46,000
I want it.

1380
00:56:46,000 --> 00:56:47,000
100%.

1381
00:56:47,000 --> 00:56:50,000
You go and grab the orb.

1382
00:56:50,000 --> 00:56:51,000
Mm-hmm.

1383
00:56:51,000 --> 00:56:52,000
And as you touch it...

1384
00:56:52,000 --> 00:56:55,000
Oh, God, do I get teleported back to that crater?

1385
00:56:55,000 --> 00:57:00,000
And now I have to walk all the way back while everyone else completes this mission?

1386
00:57:00,000 --> 00:57:03,000
Oh, my God, what a terrible punishment that would be.

1387
00:57:03,000 --> 00:57:04,000
That would be so good.

1388
00:57:04,000 --> 00:57:09,000
No, you touch it, and it disappears in your hand.

1389
00:57:09,000 --> 00:57:10,000
Oh, God, guys, I broke.

1390
00:57:10,000 --> 00:57:11,000
I lost it.

1391
00:57:11,000 --> 00:57:16,000
And you hear these metal bars crash to the ground behind you.

1392
00:57:16,000 --> 00:57:21,000
And you look, and you see Nampaw Nine and Professor Smart Monkey standing on the

1393
00:57:21,000 --> 00:57:22,000
other side of the gate.

1394
00:57:22,000 --> 00:57:25,000
And coming up behind them are five other figures.

1395
00:57:25,000 --> 00:57:27,000
Watch out behind you guys.

1396
00:57:27,000 --> 00:57:28,000
Look, they're...

1397
00:57:28,000 --> 00:57:29,000
Look out behind you.

1398
00:57:29,000 --> 00:57:30,000
Took you long enough.

1399
00:57:30,000 --> 00:57:32,000
Stop fucking around, boys.

1400
00:57:32,000 --> 00:57:35,000
You guys were supposed to be here a couple hours ago.

1401
00:57:35,000 --> 00:57:37,000
You know, they don't speak monkey.

1402
00:57:37,000 --> 00:57:38,000
They couldn't get us across the crater.

1403
00:57:38,000 --> 00:57:39,000
It's okay.

1404
00:57:39,000 --> 00:57:40,000
Don't worry about it.

1405
00:57:40,000 --> 00:57:43,000
Do labels on shirts mean nothing anymore?

1406
00:57:43,000 --> 00:57:45,000
Here, have a Werther's.

1407
00:57:45,000 --> 00:57:46,000
Here, have a Werther's.

1408
00:57:46,000 --> 00:57:49,000
And Sully totally flips him the bird.

1409
00:57:52,000 --> 00:57:53,000
Hehehe.

1410
00:58:22,000 --> 00:58:36,000
Dumbgeons and Dragons, Season 2, Episode 105, starring Amy More as Sully, Carla

1411
00:58:36,000 --> 00:58:40,000
Maxted as Glim, Tom Laird as Moot, and Russ More as your dungeon master,

1412
00:58:40,000 --> 00:58:43,000
with special guest Lindsay Bowen as Nampaw Nine.

1413
00:58:43,000 --> 00:58:46,000
Editing, production, and sound design is by Russ More.

1414
00:58:46,000 --> 00:58:49,000
This episode featured music from Kavin McCloud and Epidemic Sound, and

1415
00:58:49,000 --> 00:58:53,000
sound effects from Epidemic Sound, Boom Library, and Sound Ideas.

1416
00:58:53,000 --> 00:58:57,000
A huge thank you to our supporting producers, Gabriel Lynch, Jessica Babyok,

1417
00:58:57,000 --> 00:59:02,000
Kat Waterflame, Jacob Madden, Christian Brown, Devin Michaels, Craig Zeiss,

1418
00:59:02,000 --> 00:59:05,000
Erin Stevens, Darylith, Lulahan, and Charlie Warley.

1419
00:59:05,000 --> 00:59:08,000
Support Dumbgeons and Dragons and our many other productions at

1420
00:59:08,000 --> 00:59:10,000
Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast.

1421
00:59:10,000 --> 00:59:14,000
You'll also receive bonus episodes and a full exclusive podcast called

1422
00:59:14,000 --> 00:59:18,000
The Adventures Out, run by Tom, with characters played by Amy, Carla, and I.

1423
00:59:18,000 --> 00:59:20,000
We hope to see you over there.

1424
00:59:20,000 --> 00:59:23,000
You can also follow us at facebook.com slash dumb dragon cast, and on

1425
00:59:23,000 --> 00:59:26,000
Instagram and Twitter at dumb dragon cast.

1426
00:59:26,000 --> 00:59:27,000
Thank you for listening.

1427
00:59:27,000 --> 00:59:28,000
Have a great week.

1428
00:59:28,000 --> 00:59:29,000
We'll talk again soon.

1429
00:59:29,000 --> 00:59:30,000
What are you doing with your hands?

1430
00:59:30,000 --> 00:59:32,000
It's really distracting.

1431
00:59:32,000 --> 00:59:35,000
Whatever I want.

1432
00:59:35,000 --> 00:59:36,000
Just never mind, all right?

1433
00:59:36,000 --> 00:59:40,000
What?

1434
00:59:40,000 --> 00:59:41,000
Okay.

1435
00:59:41,000 --> 00:59:43,000
Look, I have to speak as a monkey who doesn't speak, okay?

1436
00:59:43,000 --> 00:59:44,000
It's wonderful.

1437
00:59:44,000 --> 00:59:49,000
I want to say like eight minutes before I want to say it.

1438
00:59:49,000 --> 00:59:50,000
It's really hard.

1439
00:59:50,000 --> 00:59:51,000
Yeah.

1440
00:59:51,000 --> 00:59:52,000
It's great.

1441
00:59:52,000 --> 00:59:53,000
It's a great mental process.

1442
00:59:53,000 --> 00:59:56,000
Now take out, take out all of your words.

1443
00:59:56,000 --> 00:59:57,000
Yeah.

1444
00:59:57,000 --> 00:59:58,000
Yeah.

1445
00:59:58,000 --> 01:00:03,000
And it's just like, yeah, ha, balls, ha.

1446
01:00:03,000 --> 01:00:04,000
You're so funny.

1447
01:00:04,000 --> 01:00:05,000
We could probably take that again.

1448
01:00:05,000 --> 01:00:06,000
You're right.

1449
01:00:06,000 --> 01:00:07,000
No.

1450
01:00:07,000 --> 01:00:08,000
No, I love it.

1451
01:00:08,000 --> 01:00:09,000
I think it's perfect the way it is.

1452
01:00:09,000 --> 01:00:10,000
Okay.

1453
01:00:10,000 --> 01:00:11,000
It looks like.

1454
01:00:11,000 --> 01:00:12,000
That is going to be wonderful.

1455
01:00:12,000 --> 01:00:13,000
Ooh.

1456
01:00:13,000 --> 01:00:14,000
Yeah.

1457
01:00:14,000 --> 01:00:18,000
And I was like, you made us sound stupid, right?

1458
01:00:18,000 --> 01:00:19,000
Damn it.

1459
01:00:19,000 --> 01:00:20,000
We do that ourselves.

1460
01:00:20,000 --> 01:00:21,000
Yeah.

1461
01:00:21,000 --> 01:00:22,000
We don't need any help with that.

1462
01:00:22,000 --> 01:00:24,000
Look, you all just made monkey noises.

1463
01:00:24,000 --> 01:00:27,000
I think we're, I think we're even.

1464
01:00:27,000 --> 01:00:29,000
Dumbgeons and Dragons is a dumb dragons production.